Fear and Strength

A meeting opened the door...

to thoughts of future meetings in different places.

(but maybe this same place?)

to my classroom

without a co-op

just me

and 20 children

5 years old

and facing them with

only 17 more years of life.

suddenly my thoughts turn

to swirling doubts

seeing the limits of 17 years

clouding the wisdom, lessons contained there.

graduation is peering around the corner.

now, instead of seeing just the top of its head,

i'm seeing more details.

a forehead, eyebrows, eyes, a nose...

bad analogy, but

it's getting clearer.

closer.

i think 2nd grade is fascinating, but i think it's challenging knowing that my heart is with the younger ones. because i'm ready to spread my wings, but i'm still playing by somebody else's rules. tossed into unfamiliar routines and plans, expected to soar.

sometimes it's hard to believe i can do this.

but this is where God led me. this is where He'll use me. this is where He'll shape me, equip me, save me.

so i can do this.

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. [Philippians 4:13]

Today and all of the tomorrows that follow.