Mountain Climbing

"My advice for anyone wanting to write is the same advice I give myself: You have to do it a page at a time, and you have to keep doing it. You take one step to climb a mountain."

It was the author Joseph Bruchac said that one. [He has written a lot, especially for young adults.] With that quote in mind, it's story time.

Once upon a time, a group of 5 college friends were pouring over a map of Denali National Park's hiking trails. They were filled with a determination to hike and enjoy the beautiful scenery and weather in Alaska. They had already climbed a butte surrounded by mountains, but they were hungry for the real deal. Only 2 of them had been to the top of a real Alaskan mountain, but they lived in Alaska so that's different. The other 3 had never even been to Alaska before let alone climbed an Alaskan mountain.

Since climbing Mt. McKinley was out of the question, they settled for the next best thing: the longest and hardest trail in the park.

It would take a few hours to hike up, but the day was young and so were they! With their goals set, they quickly packed some water bottles and granola bars in the communal backpack and were on their way.

Things started off well. As they gazed up the mountain, they realized hiking sticks would be helpful and began the search for The Perfect Sticks. Once everybody had one -- as well as a name from Lord of the Rings, fitting with one of the boys' Gandolf-style sticks -- they were really and truly prepared for all contingencies. With eyes and ears on alert for grizzlies and moose, they hiked. And hiked. And hiked.

The top of the mountain slowly got closer, and the trail became more strenuous. Their legs tired, and their breathing got heavier. The runt of the litter trailed behind a bit, equally a side effect of being far less athletic than the rest and having short legs. They found a conveniently placed set of benches and paused to sit, drink some water, and watch the boys pretend to shoot each other with their sticks.

Putting their eye on the prize once more, they continued on their way. When they reached a rock ledge, they looked over at the trees and smaller mountains spreading out before them. This view alone was a reward and a motivator. If it looked this breathtaking from only partway up, how much more stunning could it be at the top? So they carried on their way.

The path got steeper. The air got thinner (or at least felt like it did in the runt's lungs). The temperature got colder as the wind got stronger. And the top got closer. They encountered a noise -- oh no! They were about to come face-to-face with...a grizzly?!? No, no, just some other hikers on their way back down the mountain. The trail was narrow enough that they had to go one by one, so they stepped aside and let these hikers pass. The hikers reassured them that the hike to the top was "so worth it." With that in mind, on they went.

Suddenly they paused. The top appeared to be about 10 feet away. The only thing standing between them was a super-steep gravel wall with a narrow and random path. In fact, it didn't really look like there was one direct path up. With a little pseudo-rock climbing, a few slips, muscles burning with effort and fatigue, and a lot of superhero effort, they scaled the pathwall and were there.

At the top of a mountain.

The path continued up, but the scene before them was incredible. It felt like something straight out of National Geographic or something, not something they were standing amidst. But they were there, and they did it.

The boys continued to hike a bit higher, but the girls were content to stay and rest while enjoying the breeze and the sights. The town below looked like a tiny toy. The boys did, too, as they got farther away.

While one of the boys slowly made his way back, the other two were back in no time. They had scooped up some snow along the way and pelted the third as soon as he was back. They called two friends who were getting married the next day and yelled their love at the top of their lungs on the mountaintop as a congratulatory tribute.

They stood quietly for another minute, taking a mental picture to remember the time they climbed a mountain. And then they turned and began the trek back to camp.

Remember that Joseph Bruchac quote? (If you don't, just take a second to scroll back up and read it.) Well, I get it now.

I was one of those college friends. The runt, if you'd believe it. We made that hike almost exactly a year ago. And climbing that mountain was a lot of work. It was more work than I think we really expected -- I don't think we truly know what we were getting into when we started. But it was incredible. The beauty we found at the top, the satisfaction in reaching our goal, and the fun we had along the way....so worth it. But it all started with easy steps at the bottom of the mountain to get us going. And it got tough along the way, even making us have times where we tried to convince the others to go on without us, but we didn't. We stuck it out, and it was amazing.

Right now I feel like my summer class and getting ready to move are two separate mountains. I've taken the easy baby steps and am reaching the narrower and steeper part of the climb. I just have to keep pressing on, and I'll reach the top.

Whatever your mountain is, you can do it. Maybe you'll need to pause to rest, to find a walking stick to support you as you go, some friends to go with you, or just to focus again on the goal to make it to the top, but don't stop. Keep going, and you'll get there. And it will be amazing.

Great Analogy

After a weekend with my younger brother's high school graduation and Jess' grad party, I think it's perfect timing for a friend to have posted this on Facebook.

“Life is like a party. You invite a lot of people; some go, some join you, some laugh with you, some didn’t come. But in the end, after the fun, there would be a few who would clean up the mess with you. And most of the time, those were the uninvited ones.”
— Unknown

I am almost graduation-ed out!! My cousin Matt's ceremony is in a few weeks, and that will be that last of 'em for a while. I can only sit for so long, y'know, and I think I've almost already met the year's quota already. At least it's for good reasons. :)

My Bridge

I feel like I've been caught up in nostalgia and admiration since I've been home, and most of it revolves around my family. I love these new eyes that I'm seeing home with because I can see the things and people here that have shaped me. I am embracing memories of all kinds, from the ones that I share with others as often as I can to the ones that would probably have a thick layer of dust to blow off off first if they were tangible.

So, my friends, I don't think you've seen the end of my reflections and stories from home. I hope you don't mind because not only am I enjoying it, but I also think I need this. There's something wonderful in remembering where I've come from, relishing the most time I've had here in so long, and using it all to gain momentum to branch out into the beginning of my adult life.

~"The family is a link to our past, a bridge to our future." [-Alex Haley]~

Favorite Nephew Friday

Dear friends welcomed a new nephew into their family early this morning. Normally I'm kind of grumpy getting woken up at 3 a.m., but that's a worthy cause, indeed, especially since it came with pictures. [Ever want to soften the blow on something? Just add a baby. But don't be offended if I don't remember a thing you said then.]

I also got to spend time with my favorite nephew today. [Okay, so he's my only nephew...if I had more than one, I'd have multiple favorites.] We made friends with Jack (only a few months younger) at b&n, played with trains, and ate lunch at Noodles. We also went with (his) Momma to play at the store where she buys cloth diapers for him while we played with a ball, a stick and a tambourine, and some cars.

Goodness, 5 months sure changes a kid. I left a toddler and came back to a little man who talks up a storm. He dashes through the store, dancing from side to side along the way. He knows how to make us crack up -- like purposely leaving a string of cheese hanging from the side of his mouth or making "nom nom" noises after taking a bite. And yet...he still comes running back and says "up", still wants to be carried and held. He still has his tongue-sticking-out concentration face. He still is full of giggles and smiles.

My mind's been blown looking at the ways all of the kids in my life are growing up. I think back to when they were babies and I wondered what it would be like when they were older, and now we're living the "older" and they are fantastic kids. And I didn't know how much I'd grow to love them so, so much more than I did when they were little tykes, but that's happened somehow, too.

I treasure getting to watch these kiddos grow up. :)

~"God knew I'd love you too much to be your friend, so he made me your auntie." [anonymous]~

Conquering the Cranky McCrankypants Feeling

I have been cranky all evening. I could pinpoint some of the reasons (like a long and drawn out Coleridge biographical article that's nowhere as interesting as his life actually was...), but the bottom line is that I know the real problem is needing to just take some time to be still.

Awake,

still,

and calm.

Rational.

One of my favorite things about being back home is rediscovering so many of the little things I'd forgotten about. One of them is a piece of paper with my great-great-aunt's writing on it that I have tucked on a shelf so I see it frequently.

Think, thank, plan and pray and get going.

Thanks for reminding me, Aunt Mill. Days like this are when I need it the most.

Creativity Knows No Bounds

This is astounding.

I have to wonder, though, how many people overlook those little spectacular figures. Or step on them!

That's a demonstration of a true passion, though, I think. That artist clearly is not being afraid to create something just because it may get overlooked or won't last forever.

On that note...time to go create a works cited page. It won't last forever, but that doesn't scare me out of making it anyway.

~"Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine and at last you create what you will." [-George Bernard Shaw]~

A Prayer

Saint Theresa's Prayer

May today there be peace within.

May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.

May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.

May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.

May you be content knowing you are a child of God.

Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing,

Dance, praise and love.

It is there for each and every one of us.

Graduation Round 2: The Cousin's High School Edition

One of my dear younger cousins -- sistercousin, really, because "cousin" itself doesn't capture it right -- graduated high school today. I remember this girl being in (yucky, poopy) diapers, crying a lot, and being kinda cute sometimes. She was the annoying little girl following us around and wanting to play with us all the time, and (unfortunately) the one we were mean to. I've gotten to watch her grow up to be this amazingly beautiful, courageous, caring, fun, and spunky girl whom I love to death and now call one of my best friends...and now I can add "high school graduate" to that list!

So, so proud of her!!!

"Cousins by chance, friends by choice." ♥

Ahhh, we're all growing up!!! Jess graduated today, Jamie has moved to OK and has a job and a great relationship going for him, Matt has his graduation for getting his Masters in a few weeks, Beckey is getting married in September, Vic just started a new job and has a wonderful girlfriend...life is here, and it's happenin' for this next generation in the family!

Next thing you know, it'll be our OWN kids doing this! Wait, THAT is too weird to think of right now...let's wait on that one for a bit, eh? ;)

The lyrics "I hope you had the time of your life" keep running through my head, but...high school's not the be-all end-all to measure life by. It's rough, you survive, and you treasure the good memories but forget the rest. You move on, and you see what else life has to offer, and it's going to be awesome. :)

Did I mention how much I love my cousins and how proud of each and every one of them I am?? Because I really, really do and really, really am.

~"Cousins are the childhood playmates who grow up to be forever friends." [-Anonymous]~

Transitioning Home

It's so strange being home knowing that it's not really coming home -- it's a transition away from home...to a new home...even though this will still be home. (If I were Jack Sparrow, I would follow that up with a "Savvy?" because that was just as confusing as half of the things he says.)

[Oh, sidenote. I stand corrected on my last post. I was not 4 when my grandparents moved to Richmond. I was 5 or 6. There. Happy, Dad? "You see sir, I'm doing this for you." ;)]

Don't misinterpret what I'm saying. I love, love, love being here. It's just different this time.

As I sit in my bedroom, my own corner of the world, here in this wonderful home with my family all within an hour of this very spot, I am comfortable. I am happy. And I'm anxious to soak it all in, every last second because I know that soon my corner of the world will

e x p a n d

beyond a bedroom and morph into an apartment, a whole apartment, all my own. And I will be 8 hours from this wonderful home, from my family. And at first I will not be comfortable and I will not always be happy. I will be anxious to soak that all in, too, but I will also be anxious for the comfort and happiness to come along, for it to feel like home there, too.

And it will...it will just take time. That happens with moving anywhere. I felt it with every single dorm room and the house in Texas. In the end it was just as hard to leave as it was to originally fathom that it would feel comforting. I know that when the time comes to move out of that apartment, I'll shed some tears and some smiles as I pack up and think of all the growing up I'll do within those walls, just like I'll be doing as I pack up to move there.

Yeah, life is happening fast. I really and truly believe there could have been no better time for this blogging challenge than here and now. :)

~"You leave home and move on and you do the best you can." ["The House That Built Me" - Miranda Lambert]~

My Childhood Garden

My grandparents moved to this tiny town when I was about 4. When I say tiny, I really mean it -- there are 1100 people here. That's smaller than Seward, NE, and I've heard a fair share of people complain about how small it is there.

I've done a lot of growing up here.

My cousins and I were here every other weekend from the time I was 4 until...well, the every other weekend thing broke off as we all started learning how to drive, but we were still here a lot. Every other Sunday still was a family dinner, and naturally every holiday, too.

We owned this town as we rode around on our bikes, taking a few spills along the way. We took over the park to play baseball on the now overgrown and dug-out-less diamond. The creek overheard many of our heart-to-hearts. The play structure in the corner of the park was the first (and only) place I've ever run away from home to get to. We loved our pink piggy picnic tableuntil we were too big for it but broke it from sitting on it anyway. We walked around and hung out with the neighborhood kids here, playing 4-square with the cracks in the driveway as our line. We broke the big picture window with a baseball and covered the back fence with batting practice with paintballs sounded like a good idea (it wasn't). We climbed the roof when we weren't allowed to. We danced like fools in the backyard and made a restaurant in the basement. We drove to Florida in the van with our baby dolls in the backseat without ever leaving the driveway. We were heroes when we got to take turns on Grandpa's riding mower to mow the lawn (even though he didn't let us any more after Beckey hit the culvert and put the blade through the side). Everybody knew the pine tree was the first down marker every time when we played football. That pine tree we climbed was just another forbidden treasure.We grew to feel more like best friends than cousins in this town.

So I thank this town for a lot. I thank it for my love of small towns, my joy to move to one, and even for a few scars on my knees from falling off my bike. I thank it for a lot of memories from my childhood and for overwhelming me with the tears of joy that well up in my eyes whenever I come back to it. And I thank it for bringing my cousins and me so close together.

If I could say that I was from here, I would. I would claim Richmond over Racine any day. I would even pick saying I'm from Illinois over Wisconsin any day, too (and break away from that stereotype of being a Packer fan just for being from WI. Yuck!). I have pride in being from Wisconsin, don't get me wrong, but this town is my childhood.

I hope that you have a place or two that you can love like this, too. It breaks my heart to think there are some people who don't.

~"There is a garden in every childhood, an enchanted place where colors are brighter, the air softer, and the air more fragrant than ever again." [-Elizabeth Lawrence]~

A Peaceful Kind of Day

Today was...

research.

paper writing.

breakfast making.

coffee consuming.

lingering in sweatpants.

trekking to a lakeside town to trek around it.

forgetting where to find the places from my memories.

ice cream on a tiny almost-dock.

some quick pictures.

watching Joel pack.

a trip to the airport.

saying "goodbye" for now.

more research.

popcorn and hot chocolate.

blogging break.

music-laden.

my heart, my mind, and my ears are full.

~"For Dorothy Wordsworth, as for many women, the process of journal writing was the process of establishing an identity. As she describes a landscape, ironing shirts, or sitting with a child, she organizes her emotions." [- an article I read on Dorothy Wordsworth...]~

Just Some Thoughts

There's a fine line between being optimistic and refusing to let go of something, and that's tricky to find sometimes.

Likewise, sometimes it's hard to know where the line is between pessimism and being rational.

"Little Victories" by Matt Nathanson

This time I'll be sailing

No more bailing boats for me

I'll be out here on the sea

Just my confidence an dme

[Chorus]

And I'll be awful sometimes

Weakened to my knees

But I'll learn to get by

On the little victories

This time I'll have no fear

I'll be standing strong and tall

I'll turn my back towards them all

[Chorus]

And if the world decides

To catch up with me

Still little victories

The Past and Future Memories of a House

The peeling paint on the siding and the broken bricks on the sidewalk gently remind me of their 107 years as I soak in the 2-story white wonder, imagining what it looked like when it was young. I slowly walk around, peeking in windows when I can, seeing the shell of what's to come when the work's done.

Another family's story is contained in these walls. Each creak of the floor, each window seat, each fire in the fireplace has been the backdrop of their memories. It has seen a family grown, children grow into adults, children taking care of their parents. It has held birthdays and holidays, hot summer nights and cold snowy days. The yard has been a jungle to explore, a perfect wedding spot, and has kissed many bare feet running through the grass.

The sun makes the violets glow a vibrant purple as it sets. I gather a bouquet from the thicket of flowers, shivering from the cold but glowing with happiness. I turn around and walk back toward the house, smelling the violets and smiling.

This house has known many memories with another family, but memories with our family await it. My nephew will remember this house as Nana and Papa's house, the house he gets to do his growing up in. There is so much exploring awaiting his little feet, and there are so many gatherings that our family will have there as it grows and changes. I realize that someday my kids will think of it as Nana and Papa's house, too. Whoa.

I pause as I put my car in reverse to leave, and I smile at the house one more time. It can't tell me the stories it has already seen, but we can share the stories that will be it's future.

~"A house with a memory; it's more than a house/It was once home to me."[-"A House I Once Knew" - Leo VanMeer]~

On Slacking...

In my blogging break, it's been full of time with my family. We're making up for 5 months here.

I think it's always interesting coming back to a place after living someplace else because you get to see the ways you've changed since you left and how the place has changed, too.

My graduation party yesterday was fantastic. My dad and his girlfriend really put a lot of work into it with planning food and decorations, and both of my parents invited people. Most of my family from both sides came yesterday, which really made it awesome. I got to catch up with a lot of the family I haven't gotten to talk to in a long time.

Saturday was the first time in years that the whole family has been back to this house (it used to be my grandparents', and we used to have family dinners here on Sundays), and it was fun to reflect on how much the cousins and I have grown up since the last time we were all here playing together.

Yeah, that reconnecting definitely has been my favorite part about this blogging absence. I missed my family like crazy.

~"The family -- the dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor, in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to." [-Dodie Smith]~

Exploration Yields...

bubble tea.

the bookstore of my dreams.

a place where i could lose all sense of time.

surprises.

[Sidenote: I looked up Operation Beautiful as soon as I got home. Great mission. Excellent use of Post-Its. Beautiful way of drawing attention to beauty.]

[Another sidenote: It was time to change up the layout of the blog...but it may need more work yet. I'm not so convinced about this one yet. And adding a picture was tough and did not go as planned. Some research may be required.]

~"Exploration is really the essence of the human spirit." [-Frank Borman]~

Embracing A New Hobby

A big weekend meant loads of pictures.

The last 2 times I had loads of pictures (the trip to NC and the trip to Kemah) led to some dabbling in editing.

This time I plunged into editing. Last night I spent hours on it...because it was fun, and because I could legitimately waste time without feeling guilty about it. I'm taking some legitimate summer vacation time before beginning work on my summer class.

Anyways, here are some of the results:

A lot of my favorite moments of the weekend were captured in photographs, both of other people's and my own. That makes me smile.

~"Photography is a way of feeling, of touching, of loving. What you have caught on film is captured forever...it remembers the little things, long after you have forgotten everything." [-Aaron Siskind]~

And one more quote tonight...

"To me, photography is an art of observation. It's about finding something interesting in an ordinary place...I've found it has little to do with the things you see and everything to do with the way you see them." [Elliot Erwitt]

Scenes from a Graduation Day

Graduation...wow, I still can't believe it's over and done with.

Thoughts as I walked across the stage : "Watch the sleeves. Don't trip. Am I smiling? How many eyes are on me right now? Am I walking too fast? Don't drop the diploma cover!" Not quite as profound as I thought it would be.

What I remember the most was turning around to my family after getting back to my seat, smiling as they smiled and gave me the thumbs up, and sticking my tongue out at them in response.

I can only recall a few parts of the ceremony, to be quite honest. What will stick with me the most from this weekend is getting to celebrate with family and friends whose love, encouragement, and friendships helped get me this far. Having them close for this big milestone means more to me than that diploma that I will be getting in the mail.

Here are just a few pictures from the weekend...

These two drove hours just to be there.

He made me proud by getting here after his surgery, just like he makes me proud to be his granddaughter everyday. And that's the face of one pretty proud Papa on graduation day.

And now I can legitimately call myself part of the...

Bring on the future.

~"Oh, the places you will go..." [Dr. Seuss]~

Highlights

Today...

Coffee and conversation to start the day.

Apartment hunting. Apartment found.

Exploring York.

Lunch with friends.

Productivity.

Family.

Hugging Pops again. ♥

Ready As I'll Ever Be

I love lists. I make them all the time. I think enjoying making lists this much should really be a diagnosed condition. It goes hand-in-hand with the Post-It addiction I'd also be diagnosed with. I actually had listed the lists I made today, but I deleted it because you already have enough evidence of my list obsession.

Allow me to make one more list before calling it a night. I call this one...

"Reasons Why I Am Ready To Graduate"

1. I got back into town on Sunday but didn't go to campus until Tuesday morning when I had to be there. My world is bigger than a college campus now, and I'm ready to live beyond that block. I used to be so impatient to get my feet back to that place, that campus, but now it's just...another significant place in my life.

2. I realized I know a lot about the walls of TLEC auditorium. There has been a lot of Ed program stuff in that room...and not all of it has been more interesting than the walls. There's only so much they can tell us. Most of the learning we have left to do will best be found being in the classrooms with the children.

3. I got to talking with one of my professors today. She looked me right in the eye and told me I'm ready for my own classroom.

4. I've been visiting as many home goods displays as possible, both in person and online. I'm envisioning my future home and how to make it feel like one.

5. I've been working on securing things for my place. I've got the basics for my bedroom, living room, and dining room. Now I'm excited to put them in place and use them.

6. I get to go home after graduation. I get to celebrate with my family. More importantly, I get to see my family. 5 months has been a really, really long time. The longest I've ever gone without seeing them, actually. (And hopefully the longest I ever will.)

7. If you see me staring off into space, I'm really just seeing my classroom and planning things for it.

8. I'm ready to spread my wings and see where life's going to take me from here. Alright, God, lead me where Ya need me.

~"What the caterpillar calls the end the rest of the world calls a butterfly." [-Lao Tzu]

Reconnecting

It is surreal to be b back in Seward, but so great to see the wonderful faces of people I have missed so much more than I realized.

This morning I actually was half awake and heard a noise that sounded to my half-awake self like a garage door. My room in Texas was right next to the garage so I would hear that a lot. I was quite confused when I opened my eyes and wasn't in my bedroom at all. Don't you love waking up knowing you were sleeping like a log? I think I sleep best after a long drive, too.

My phone died about two hours a after I got in last night. I was glad it lasted until after the trip...and a night without a phone made for a good dose of solitude. That should last me until the next bout.

A Stretching Heart

I realized while driving that I have so many places I call "home" these days. That means that I will have lots of waves of homesickness for different places, but it also means that I have many places that will cause the thrill of coming home again.

What a blessing that it was so hard to leave Texas. It really was a fantastic semester.

~"Couldn't wait to get goin', but wasn't quite ready to leave." ["American Honey" - Lady Antebellum]~