The Solo Ending of a Wowing 2011

I sit here this New Year's Eve alone for quite possibly the first time ever. It's definitely the first year in a while that I haven't been with the beloved Mac6. I'm definitely going to miss going crazy with my cousins and our pots and pans at midnight, but I'm not sad to be alone tonight.

There have been so many people who have helped me through this year in one way or another, and I'm so incredibly grateful for the ways the love and encouragement has strengthened me for all this year contained. This year has been such a truly epic year from the onset, and it's been such a personally meaningful and defining year for me. I've been pushed to embrace adulthood fully and really give my own wings a go -- a terrifying concept but an exhilarating (and sometimes messy) reality.

I sit here grateful to be alone to contemplate the magnitude of this year as it dwindles down to the last hours; I sit here hopeful as I contemplate the possibilities the coming year holds. Oh, yes, God will do such amazing things, but as to what I will find myself thankful for at the close of next year...it's too early to tell.

2011 was shaped by
a 20 hour solo road trip to Texas
being away from home for 5 months -- the longest period away in my life!
student teaching 
nearly losing someone I admire and love 
a break up 
college graduation
moving to my own apartment
some incredible weddings of dear friends
starting a new (dream) job
gaining 21 reasons to look forward to getting up in the morning
getting my first dog
amazing people entering my life and leaving their marks on my heart 


Am I sad to see this year end? No, not really. I'm leaving this year still holding onto the fantastic memories that I'll be talking about and thinking about in the years to come. I'm actually kind of glad to see it go, to be honest -- it's opening up the opportunity for next year's awesomeness. :)


~"Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us." [-Hal Borland]~

True Story.

Things I Can't Make Up But Sound Like I Did

...those moments when you wish you could laugh as much as you want to but you can't because you're the teacher

R and C are arguing. I ask what the problem is. 

R: C made me smell his fart! 

I remind her that he didn't make her do anything, it was her choice. 

R: Fine. He let me. 

L and A are playing with the baby in housekeeping. A is holding a baby doll that evidently is crying in their imaginary world because she's yelling at it to stop. 

L: Stop yelling at the baby! Would you talk to baby Jesus that way? 

During Bible we talked about Nebuchadnezzar. E is trying to retell part of the story and gets to the part about the king. 

E: Actually, I remembered I don't know how to say that name. 

We read a book about different animals and are working on our comparing/contrasting skills. My aide asks the kids to compare the cow and the chicken on the page. 

E. Well, you can milk a cow, but you can't milk a chicken. It'd get very angry at you. 

...and those conversations I have with my family and friends.

Me (talking to my dog who hates to have his vest put on to go outside): You need your vest. It's freezing outside. Nobody likes a pupscicle. 

Mom: I have a hole in my sock. 

Me: Oh, darn it!

Me: When will Grandma ever learn? She gets run over every year by the stupid reindeer! 

Dad: Yeah, and what's Grandpa doing? He's over there drinking beer with cousin Mel. 

Matt: Goooo Planet!

Me: My dog's name is not Captain Planet. 

Matt: Oh. I thought for sure you told me you named him Captain Planet. 

Me: Uh, no. 

Matt: Oh, good. That's what I'm naming my next dog. 

Me: Not if I get to it first. Mwuh hahahaha. 

(the conversation probably ended with Garcia's classic, "You're outta control!" but I cannot be sure.)

Yeah, I have fun people in my life. :) 

Homecoming.

I have no idea why this photo is so massive...Squirt certainly is not! But I got him home in one piece, and both of us are really enjoying the couch. Not sure who is more exhausted right now.

Preparations Are Underway

Dog beds: check.

Crate: check.

Super-manly-dog-vest-to-prevent-dogsicle: check.

Treats: check.

Some tiny-dog toys: check.

Get excited: check, check, check.

TO DO:

Buy dog food, food and water bowls, and gates.

Clean.

Do laundry.

Wrap presents.

Bide time until pup comes home.

...less than 48 hours to go.

The First of Many Hellos Like This

I arrived early. Yes, early. Clearly I was excited. And nervous...am I really ready for this?

And then it happened. The lights in the animal shelter turned on, and I knew it was time.

I made it to the door, and then I saw the lady holding the little guy. And he got so excited!!

He could hardly stay still as she put the leash on him to go outside. He ran right to me, putting his little paws on me and saying, "Hi! Hi! Hi! Are you my new mommy?"

We took him outside, and he could hardly stay still enough to go potty before running back over to me.

Once we were inside again, he could hardly stand to leave me. Out of the 45 minutes I was there, he was in my lap for about 40 of them. He would not stand for me to stop petting him. I knew 5 minutes in that I was hooked. I'm looking into the face of my dog.

As I marveled at this little creature and how much I loved him already, I could already tell this was the right call.

Stay tuned throughout the rest of the week as this new Dog Mom prepares to bring the little one home...

Puppy Love

Confession: I kind of miss roommates. I like my own space and all, but sometimes it's lonely living alone. And I miss having a friend to go on walks with. I'd go on a lot more walks if I didn't have to go alone.

With these thoughts in mind, I've been researching dogs since September and looking for one that'd be right to adopt since November -- that's when I finally felt truly ready to bring a new addition home. I came across two beautiful puppies (brothers) and fell in love, but now's just not the right time for a puppy.

But I'm ready for some kind of dog.

After I had to let the puppies idea go, I found another dog whom I am going to meet tomorrow.

I may have a date for New Year's. ;)

[I'd post the link to this little guy, but with the way I was bummed about Baby Boy and Shiloh, I think it's best not to really make this seem like a sure thing quite yet. It's not. But tomorrow's another story. After all, it's harder not to give your heart away to someone -- animal or human -- after a great date. ;)]

~"I talk to him when I'm lonesome like; and I'm sure he understands. When he looks at me so attentively and gently licks my hands; then he rubs his nose on my tailored clothes, but I never say naught threat. For the good Lord known I can buy more clothes but never a friend like that."[-W. Dayton Wedgefarth]~

Correlation?

I'm beginning to wonder if I have another reason to chalk winter up as being yucky.

Last year around this time is when I seemed to be getting a lot of migraines. I attributed it to stress and lack of sleep. This year I've recently started getting more migraines again, and I'm not a fan. I thought that I had figured out it was a sleep thing. Granted, this time of year has gotten pretty stressful, but I've been under more stress than this earlier in the year so I'm reluctant to call it a stress thing.

Confusing.

But things must get done anyway, and I'm excited that break is now less than 2 weeks away. Just pushing through the chaos that will be my life until then and praying these migraines will stay few and far between at least until break.

Story Songs (the Second)

It's not often to fall in love with a song on the first go-round, but sometimes it happens. Along comes a song that engulfs you so completely that you want to close your eyes to watch it play out in your mind. That song makes you sigh deeply when it's over and nearly makes you hit the pause button to savor the lingering sentiments. But the show must go on, right?

A song came on Pandora today that literally made me run a little late today as I took some time to try to find it online. But oh, it was fantastic. And oh-so-hard to track down. But here it is, Stewboss's "Midnight Shift." [I know, I thought the band name was interesting myself.]

That made me think of some of my other favorite story songs. I already mentioned Amos Lee, but there's also songs like the good ol' "She's in Love with the Boy" -- who doesn't love some classic Faith Hill now and then?! Oh, and the Judds. There are tons more that have been popping in my head throughout the day, but there was one more that has really been stuck in my head all day...and I'll leave this topic there for now.

Full Mind, Full Heart

the arms that sneak-attack hug me throughout the day

with love the warms my heart before i can even turn around to see

which of the 21 faces it may be.

the moments where i feel like i am falling short

quickly shoved aside by their laughter and smiles

a silly song that will stay stuck in my head all week

or a recalled fact taking me by surprise as i realize more

sinks in than i know

and that it's okay if i don't know.

but i hope and pray they are learning the good things

the kind they can recall in the years that carry them beyond the walls

of my classroom

and knowing the good lessons aren't always measured in standards or report cards.

and the snow and ice take me back

to memories of roommates and suite-mates and hot chocolate nights

and the conversations that came with each

making me think back to the college days

not so long ago but so distant

where the unknowns were overwhelming

dreams were big

and tears and prayers were plentiful.

the walking and driving in the awfulbeautiful mess

alert me to my rustiness

to the mere 2 weeks of putting up with this last winter

and suddenly make me homesick for texas

where the warmth in the weather was upstaged

by the warmth in the people

who became friends there

the texas family.

and i smile because life is good

and has been good

and i'm constantly reminded of the NewGood and OldGood.

instead of a quote, here's a picture that just warms my heart...[Thank you, Tumblr.]

Rebuilding

Everybody makes mistakes. But does everyone take the time to fix their mistakes? Unfortunately, I don't think so.

There's a difference between fixing something and acknowledging it happened. Fixing something is more intentional. Think about it: you identify the problem, seek a solution, gather the necessary tools to fix it, and then go at it. You spend time and energy on it, and (unless you are "Tim 'the Toolman' Taylor") it's better in the long run. Acknowledging something happened isn't doing anything to fix it. It's not even attempting to fix it. And let's face it: even though Tim Allen's character always made a mess out of whatever he was trying to fix, the effort was admirable.

I've put a lot of thought and prayer into it, and now it's time to dive in. I'm in the tool-gathering stage right now on a few areas of my life, and although I wish it were so much easier than this, I know it'll be better in the long run. But the way it stands right now can't be how it stays.

Cryptic? Yes. The reason is that the specifics aren't important. The important part is that we all have things that need fixing in our lives. The choice is yours -- are you going to fix it, or are you going to leave it lie in a mess?

~"So tonight you better stop and rebuild all your ruins, because peace and trust can win the day despite all your losing." [-Led Zeppelin]~