Return of the Moses Mentality

Many, many moons ago I wrote about the Moses Mentality. I tried to find that post again, but well, there are a lot on here, so I'll summarize instead. Firstly, the phrase is a result of a long conversation with a friend when we were both nearing the end of our college days. Now back in the Old Testament when God told Moses to step up and lead the Isrealites out of Egypt, Moses started coming up with all these excuses. 

"But God," Moses whined, "I'm not such a great speaker." 

"Well, here's your brother Aaron. He'll help you out," God said. And Aaron was by Moses' side and helped him out. 

"But God," Moses whined again, "what if those Egyptians don't believe that you sent me?" 

"Well, see your staff there? Just toss that on the ground. That'll show them," God said. And when Moses threw that staff on the ground, it turned into a snake and the Egyptians were taken aback. 

"But God," Moses whined, "what if the Pharaoh doesn't listen?" 

"Well, here's a plague. And if that doesn't work, here are 9 more. Listen, Moses, what other excuses do you have? I could do this all day." 

I've walked into this school year equipped with a whole school year of lessons, both taught and learned, and I've experienced some moments where I go, "Oh, that was  so much easier this time!" -- and those feel good. I still am constantly looking back on things and wishing I had done something differently, but that is something that will never end as long as I am a teacher. I feel a lot more confident this year. I've got a better balance going on between school and life outside of school. I've got more tricks up my sleeves to use with my kiddos. I know the value of praying constantly. Things are going more smoothly right now than they were at this point last year. And the challenges that are there? Well, they don't keep me awake at night as much. 

And yet...there are still moments where I just don't know why I ever thought this was what I should be doing with my life. I can count the number of times I've seriously considered calling it quits on one finger, fortunately, but sometimes we all find ourselves whining to God despite knowing we are exactly where He wants us to be. 

"But God," I whined, "what if the kids won't ever listen to me?" 

"Here," God said, "have some extra patience to get you through the first week." And that patience helped until we all adjusted more to each other. 

"But God," I whined, "what if the kids think I'm too mean or too hard on them?" 

"Here," God said, "listen to this child tell you how much he loves it here." And I was reminded that children are loving and forgiving. 

"But God," I whined, "what if it the whole year is full of days as awful as that one?" 

"Here," God said, "have a day filled with reminders that you're not alone. Oh, and here's some encouraging words to counteract those doubts you've let take over your mind. And here's smiles and laughter to share with your students. And here's enough time in the day to get all of your plans done. Listen, Michelle, what other excuses do you have? I could do this all day."

3rd Krauss Nostalgia

Memories of college life have been flowing through my head in quiet moments lately, but it's tough to say what's sparked them. I've realized I'm not quite sure how the friendships formed with the people who made up that core group at CUC. I hope you dear old friends reading this get some kicks out of it and get to thinking. Ohhh, those golden 3rd Krauss days, haha. [But f'real, some of you need to fill in the gaps for me. :)]

[Note: from here on out there are many "you had to be there" things...you've been warned. Read on if you dare.]

Kayla was my first roommate, so that one was easy to figure out. Still not sure how or why our room became the main hang out, but hey, it was fun. I bet it was the awesome Quote Wall. Then again, maybe it was that crazy-awesome hallway we had.

Okay, is is just me, or did Aaron seem to have just started tagging along after Arts and Ideas with a few of us back to our dorm floor to hang out? I think it was The Green Blanket that kept bringing him back.In my mind he really just suddenly became a permanent fixture in our group. Not that any of us minded knowing the Muffin Man...

And Papa Patrick. Wasn't that because of Arts and Ideas, too? 

Nicole was the neighbor that was always dropping by and making fun of herself for it, but I always loved when she would pop in. We had so many conversations about the most random things while she ate her cereal in The Purple Chair. Yup, definitely my favorite next-door neighbor in college. 

Jen has two contributing factors from what I recall: Arts and Ideas and Nicole. We had that class, and I think Nicole and Jen would come to Kayla's and my room a lot together...after bonding from many a late night spent together. You crazy night owls. 

Jason definitely was from that math class with the cranky old prof who had a crush on him which led her to occasionally give him better grades than me. That one time where I organized his math notes for him was probably the gateway to him hanging out with us all so much because he realized how awesome the people on our floor were (including honorary members Nordy and Papa Patrick), especially Jen. (Awww!)

That really was one of all-time favorite years of college. We had a lot of drama at times, but we were comfortable together. We acted crazy-silly (Mission 3rd Krauss, Triangle snowball fights, Christmas parties, and pick-up line competitions, anyone?) or annoyed one another once in a while (those smelly BOY FEET, hair on the floor, silly Cardinal fans...). We could hand out in PJs or get all jazzed up -- sometimes even in the same day. We laughed together, cried, or just hung out watching movies in the lounge as the early morning hours came our way. [And by "early hours" I really mean "ridiculously late."]

I really miss it at times. It's funny to think how a few months' time and moving to buildings just a stone's throw away from our freshman hall changed it all. Dynamics shifted as people came and went from that original group. Fights happened. Relationships grew while romances died, and vice versa. Tough events shook us and tested our bonds but strengthened them when all was said and done. Laughter, tears, and words were still shared. 

What's beautiful are the times where we still are able to do that. It's never going to be quite like that first year because it's next to impossible to be in the same place at the same time (although Chicago a few years back was pretty darn close!), but friendships like that never really fully lose their magic regardless of time or distance. 

To be honest, I think part of it is how much I miss the security of having that group. The independence of being away at school while still being able to depend on a few someones. The adventures. The familiarity. Being able to muddle through it all so very together. We were each other's stability. 

Sometimes it's hard to see where life has taken us all and to believe we all were ever those people who bonded in The Mouse House, the ones just starting out and dreaming of what life after college would be like. And yet...here we all are, all over the country, doing amazing things. 

And now to leave you with a fitting portion of one of the things that bonded us that year... Wicked...

So much of me is made of what I learned from you, 

You'll be with me like a hand print on my heart. 

And now whatever way our stories end 

I know you have rewritten mine by being my friend.

                                                     ["For Good"]