& so is their sense of humor
(intentional or not)
Here are some of my favorite quotes from working with or around kiddos.
(Names have been changed for the protection of the kiddos.)
Legendary Kindergarten Words:
R and C are arguing. I ask what the problem is.
R: C made me smell his fart!
I remind her that he didn't make her do anything, it was her choice.
R: Fine. He let me.
L and A are playing with the baby in housekeeping. A is holding a baby doll that evidently is crying in their imaginary world because she's yelling at it to stop.
L: Stop yelling at the baby! Would you talk to baby Jesus that way?
During Bible we talked about Nebuchadnezzar. E is trying to retell part of the story and gets to the part about the king.
E: Actually, I remembered I don't know how to say that name.
We read a book about different animals and are working on our comparing/contrasting skills. My aide asks the kids to compare the cow and the chicken on the page.
E. Well, you can milk a cow, but you can't milk a chicken. It'd get very angry at you.
Teacher: What are you making?
Student: Keys for my car. Drive it like you stole it, baby!!!
From the Mouths of Preschool Babes:
MW (Looking at an apple a child colored): A black apple, huh?
T: That means it's old and rusty.
After we switch Home Living to a Space Center (and yes, took out all of the kitchen food stuff):
W: Aw man! There's no food! I'm going to starve to death!
J: There's no food anywhere!
Me: You came in with a big smile today!
M: I know. My mom did it.
E (trying to reach something across the table): My arms aren't stretchy enough.
L (as we're settling down for circle time): Miss Lynski, I'm shushed.
Me: You're what, sweetie?
L: Shushed.
A: She means squished.
M (in disbelief): How does our timer not work anymore? Oh, because we use it so much. For home living, for blocks, for that area...(He answered his own question. Smart fella.)
M: I'm not scared of anything. Not even monsters, not even falling down noises, not even sharks or anything on earth.
M (pretending to be the dad in while in the Housekeeping area): Go and clean your room, and you've gotta make sure it's spot and spanless!
A: (as I'm putting sunscreen on him): Be careful! I'm expensive!
Sam refused to get up from his cot and consequently was in the way of the sink. His response to somebody stepping on the corner of his cot to get through: How dare you, you dirty hippie!
Me: What were the 3 gifts the wise men brought?
C: Gold, Frankenstein, and myrrh.
Me: How does a train move? Does it move all by itself? Does it need anything to drive?
All 10 preschoolers: Yes.
Me: What do we call the person who drives the train?
A: A human!
A: Wanna hear a joke?
Me: Sure!
A: Wouldn't it be funny if an apple ate a peanut?!?
From the realm of 5th grade:
During Grammar:
Me: Okay, guys. We talked about independent clauses and dependent clauses, and I briefly mentioned what a regular clause is the other day. Does anyone remember what that was?
One of the funny guys: A relative of Santa Claus. (eruption of laughter)
Me: False. But good try.
Math Class:
Me: Wow, you guys are rock stars.
Student A(without missing a beat): Rock stars don't do math.
Student B: Yeah, they have servants to do that for them.
Me (highly amused): Servants, really?
Students: Yeah.
Me (trying not to laugh): I just don't think that's true.
Student: Yeah, they hire people and stuff to do their math.
Me: I'm pretty sure they still have to do math at some point during their day.
Student: No, other people do it all for them.
Me: Well, in this class, rock stars do math. At least until 11:15. Let's get to it.
From the over-grown kids (aka adults):
"I'm not having the fun that they should be allowing me to have." - Joel
A: Wanna hear a joke?
Me: Sure!
A: Wouldn't it be funny if an apple ate a peanut?!?
From the realm of 5th grade:
During Grammar:
Me: Okay, guys. We talked about independent clauses and dependent clauses, and I briefly mentioned what a regular clause is the other day. Does anyone remember what that was?
One of the funny guys: A relative of Santa Claus. (eruption of laughter)
Me: False. But good try.
Math Class:
Me: Wow, you guys are rock stars.
Student A(without missing a beat): Rock stars don't do math.
Student B: Yeah, they have servants to do that for them.
Me (highly amused): Servants, really?
Students: Yeah.
Me (trying not to laugh): I just don't think that's true.
Student: Yeah, they hire people and stuff to do their math.
Me: I'm pretty sure they still have to do math at some point during their day.
Student: No, other people do it all for them.
Me: Well, in this class, rock stars do math. At least until 11:15. Let's get to it.
From the over-grown kids (aka adults):
"I'm not having the fun that they should be allowing me to have." - Joel
