Limbo.

It all started with an 8 a.m. wake-up to pack in high speed and run last minute errands, and it didn't end until 11 o'clock the following night. We hit the road at 11 p.m. on Thursday and made it here at 8:00 the next morning. I didn't do more than doze off now and then on the way here, so I was pretty eager for bedtime on Friday night.

It wasn't really hard leaving home, and it wasn't hard having my family leave. It felt so surreal, especially by the time they were leaving on Friday cuz I was sooo tired. I couldn't quite wrap my mind around it. Even right now I'm still half expecting to jump in the car and be driven to Omaha to fly home any time now.

The campus is truly beautiful. The people here are all so nice. I just need to get to know more people. It kinda stinks eating lunch alone and feeling like a freshman again. One of my friends who transferred to CUC after a visiting semester there did warn me about this feeling, so at least I had a heads-up, but it still is kinda rough. I just keep focusing on how it'll get better once the stress of new classes and all is over as well, and once I meet more people.

Guess it didn't help that I was crazy-busy today. Mondays I'll be having 5 classes (including a voice lesson, yaaay!), but Wednesday and Friday it's only four, and (even better!) only ONE on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Unfortunately I can already tell that most of my waking hours are going to be spent doing so. much. stinking. reading. Thank God I was born a reader, huh?

Oh, and let me tell ya how incredibly cool it was to spend most of a class period talking about Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start The Fire"! Ask me about that one sometime if you're interested. I think it was one of the best ways to start a class...ever.

I can already tell that this semester holds a lot of ways to deepen my faith. I already am reconnecting after only a few days on campus. =o)

Anyways, I'm trying to stay busy so I don't think about being homesick or anything. I am, after all, going to be home in a few weeks for a wedding. I'm pretty excited for that. Until then, there's PLENTY to do and see!

~"So what, I'm still a rock star, I've got my rock moves, and I don't need you. And guess what? I'm having more fun, and now that we're done, I'm gonna show you tonight I'm alright, I'm just fine, and you're a tool, so so what? I'm a rock star, I've got my rock moves, and I don't want you tonight!" ["So What" - Pink]~

Hodge-podge.

Ordering books! Cleaning! Packing! Seeing family! Seeing friends! Surgeries! Partying! Shelves! Phone calls! 9 hours drives! Goodbyes! Pictures! Nerves! Excitement! Paperwork! Finishing books! Finishing artwork! Working out! Oil changes! Tire alignments! Sleeping! Barnes and Noble! Finding a new journal! Taking lots and lots of pictures! The end of summer! Cooking! Haircut! Shoes! Laundry! Dates! Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2! Little cousins cheerleading! Motorcyle ride! ONE WEEK! Baaah!

So much to fit into so little time!

~"Dear Prudence, open up your eyes, dear Prudence, and see the sunny skies." ["Dear Prudence" - The Beatles]

When "not soon enough" becomes "too soon"...

I keep getting simultaneous waves of butterflies and nausea when I think of leaving in 2 1/2 weeks for a semester in Nebraska. I am excited to take this adventure on, and heck, I'm even proud of myself for stepping out of my comfort zone to do it. I do, however, have to wonder what I was thinking.

A lot of people hear me say that I'm studying away for a semester, and they get all excited and (inevitably) ask where. You can tell they are picturing something like Europe or Spain...somewhere outside of the Midwest, for sure. I say, "Nebraska," and usually get something along the lines of, "Oh. What's in Nebraska?" Oh, stop. Your encouragement and enthusiasm are just overwhelming me here. What they don't understand is that this really is a big step for me regardless of how minuscule it seems to them.

This is going to be a semester of a lot of growth for me in ways that I just can't really know yet, but a lot of it in my own strength and independence. I do know that I am going to grow in friendships while I'm out there, too, and that helps my nerves stay in check.

It is hard to think of how much I will be missing at CUC though -- from the people to the random experiences that will translate into inside jokes and references to the neighborhood trees changing colors to the feeling of familiarity. It's really sinking in just how little I will be seeing of my family, too...especially the little cousins and a certain beautiful baby girl who will be walking (WALKING!!!) by the time I'm home again. It's no longer a short train ride home.

It'll be worth it.

~In going where you have to go, and doing what you have to do, and seeing what you have to see, you dull and blunt the instrument you write with. But I would rather have it bent and dulled and know I had to put it on the grindstone again and hammer it into shape and put a whetstone to it, and know that I had something to write about, than to have it bright and shining and nothing to say, or smooth and well oiled in the closet, but unused. [Ernest Hemingway]~

Another one down.

So I just finished The Bridges of Madison County by Robert James Waller, and it's definitely one I am going to reread at some point. Waller's good at putting some extremely abstract things into words, and he does a wonderful job of making the story seem possible. Most love stories clearly don't happen like they are written. There were some really good quotes in there as well.

I want to find my own Robert Kincaid.

~"The old dreams were good dreams; they didn't work out, but I'm glad I had them." [The Bridges of Madison County]~