The Day of Great Combinations

coffee and conversation jump start the day right.

reuniting with a CUC friend -- a juxtaposition of catching up on life and reminiscing.

sunshine, sunscreen, and sand smells staining my skin.

lakeside seating perfectly sandwiched between a friend and a cousinsister.

laughter and love. lots of it.

reminders

of not being alone.

of growing up that's done and will come.

of the okay factor in it all.

and now...chocolate milk and Frankenstein. (a bit of polar opposites, yes?)

~"Life is short, let's go live it. Ain't no time for wasting time. Days like these go by way too fast. Yeah, days like these, you wanna make them last." ["Days Like These" - Jason Aldean]~

"Out of Chaos..."

This move has an intimidating weight that I am trying to fight from sitting on my shoulders. The excitement is hiding

behind the nerves,

the to do list,

money,

praying for things to come together,

the Unknowns,

and trying to be everywhere for everyone at once before Moving Day.

Enter music that saves my sanity and makes me slow down for a few minutes, that quiets my soul and stills everything.

Yes, this is chaos.

Yes, this is scary.

But yes, this is exciting.

And yes, this is good.

And yes, beautiful things will come from this.

Future Project?

So there's this website where people take photographs back to the exact place where they were taken, and they take another. It's not recreating it, it's putting it back in context...but in the future. Check it out, and you'll see what I mean.

Basically...it's awesome.

And it has me thinking that I'd love to do something like that.

~"We try to grab pieces of our lives as they speed past us. Photographs freeze those pieces and help us remember how we were." [-Gene McSweeney]~

A Wonderful [Wedding] Weekend

My heart overflows with joy from the weekend:

reuniting with friends after months apart

celebrating a birthday

seeing two dear friends united in marriage

watching the newlyweds enjoy their special day to the fullest

dancing like fools at the reception with the other Concordia ladies :)

a long walk

lots of driving...and safely while driving

the necessary tears that come with closure, heartache...and loads of thanksgiving

a great hike

sightseeing in Cedar Rapids

movie watching with Mattchu

And while Aaron and I hiked, he pointed out a bench tucked away in the tall grass. The top of the plaque sums this entire weekend:

Thanks, God.

Stay Tuned...

My blogging is always the most sporadic whilst I travel. Forgive me.

I will be back in the groove on Monday.

For now I am basking in time with some wonderful friends.

The time to meander home is coming way too quickly...then again, doesn't it always?

The Fruit of 2 Days of Driving

I have gotten to see a lot of beautiful scenery in the past two days, wow. I wish I could have taken pictures of everything.

One day I am going to take a road trip. I will have a destination in mind, but I will savor the sights on the way, stopping on whims to take pictures or see the random touristy spots along the way (like the Oz Museum here in Kansas). That would be a dream vacation.

But for now, off to simply dream.

Let's Pretend This is Wednesday's Post

Sometimes words aren't enough to calm the swirl of emotion and thought.

And sometimes the swirl moves so quickly that it cannot be caught.

In those times, that voice appears again, quietly calling:

"Be still awhile, and you'll stop that feeling of falling."

In that still time, look around you at the wonders there

At all of the joys that'll turn into memories to share.

Let them warm your heart, and let them drown out

All of those troubles that your mind used to shout.

Soon a smile will melt into your lips, boldly shining

And it will seem like simply perfect timing

To be reunited with this old friend once more.

And then you'll wonder, What else does this day have in store?

And off you'll go, happily on your way

To embrace the now-glorious day.

[goodness, i missed writing poetry.]

~"Give me the beat, boys, and free my soul, I wanna get lost in your rock'n'roll and drift away..." ["Drift Away" - Uncle Kracker]~

I Should Do This More Often

So my car no longer sounds like it's in agony every time I drive it -- thanks, Dad! We explored it when he got it home, and he told me what they did to it.

And then we tackled the sap/residue problem.

My least favorite thing about my mom's new place are those darn pine trees. Okay, okay, not really. It's parking under them without thinking about the sap. Which I know think of when parking. And now I park farther back, away from their treacherous sap-dropping range. And the residue? When I first got back into Seward, I took my car to get a bath as a reward for getting me safely back from Texas. The automatic car wash stopped working after dumping soap on my car. Apparently the self-wash I did to rinse it really wasn't enough to get all the soap off. Oops.

Washing the car again didn't get it all off, so we tried a mix of things. The final step was wax.

my Papa taught me how to wax a car.

once.

i guess it's like riding a bike, though.

preeeetty shiny things!

And, when I got done, I realized even my subconscious self has a sense of humor. Guess what shirt I was wearing?

turtles shirt while using turtle wax.

classic.

~"Hey dudes, check it out! 'Wax on! Wax off!'" [- TMNT2: Secret of the Ooze...referencing Karate Kid]~

My Dreams of Life, Love, and Happiness

There are some girls who have been dreaming of their wedding day for their whole life and could tell you every single detail they have planned out. Not this girl.

Sure, I've thought about it. I mean, going to two schools where the average couple seems to be expected to be engaged within a year of dating, of course you think about it at least a little. In fact, I once had an interview with one of the head hanchos of my program where he started asking if my boyfriend had proposed yet. After picking my jaw up off the floor, I replied that we had only been dating for a few months and hadn't even talked about it. Imagine my embarrassment when he went on to talk about the future with teaching positions near the sem (which would have been about 2 years down the road at the time!). Most awkward meeting of my life, I assure you.

Well, I neither dated anyone for a year nor got engaged while in college, though, so I made it out without a ring on my finger. It's neither good nor bad-- although it does have its ups and downs, of course -- it just is what it is. I have my own kind of story to live out.

Do you know what I spend my time dreaming about instead? Life after the wedding. Sharing holidays with our families. Having a family of our own. What it will be like to share things like grocery shopping or folding laundry. Cooking dinner together. Having somebody to wake up in the middle of the night when I am wide awake. What silly things we'll fight about. Walking around holding hands. The little things.

That's where my fairy tale is at.

I think this sums it up better than I can, really:

What A Cousin Weekend Looks Like

Cousin Movie Night: The Drive In Edition

(Jess, Matt, and Jen)

passing the time until the movies start.

(we sometimes pretend to like each other)

he's basically like a brother to me.

sisterlylove.♥

"i wanted to braid my hair and be just like yooooou!"

cousinsisters. ♥

graduation day.

the look of a smartypants with a masters.

it's all the rage, you know.

"suit up!"

jobo.

cousins picture.

grown ups picture.

(Uncle Vic, Liz, Matt, Auntie Cindy, Uncle Tom)

He's a Phoenix.

~"What's that? You want me to come back there and talk to you?"~ [Due Date]~

The Drive In

Sometimes a change of plans isn't always a bad thing.

Last night I had been planning on going to see a friend of the family play with his band in a competition. I'd been planning this for about a week and was adamant that I was going, even if I had to go alone.

So last night I went...

to the drive-in with my cousins.

If you have never experienced a drive-in movie theater, make it a goal to find one and go! There's something wonderful about being able to go to the movies and enjoy the beautiful summer weather all at once. You get to get comfy in your lawn chairs or in the open back hatch of your car with blankets, pillows, and a cooler full of drinks and snacks. The big screen stands against a backdrop of stars arriving one by one as the sky grows darker by the minute. The posts around you with the speakers echo as they speak in sync. There's the crunch of gravel under your feet as you walk to the concession stand during intermission, and you soak in the moonlight as you walk. The best part, though, is who you enjoy it with.

~"You're gonna miss this. You're gonna want this back. You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast." ["You're Gonna Miss This" - Trace Atkins]~

Countdowns

It's only...
a few hours until my cousin Matt gets home.
a few days until his graduation ceremony.
9 days until I get to see my friend David and his family again.
10 days until Elizabeth and Josh get married.
3.5 weeks until The Big Move.
a month and a half until Brit Lit is done.
2 months until The First Year of Teaching begins.

Whew.

Timeless Truths

I've been studying Lord Byron for this unit of my class, and he's purely fascinating.

I love his writing -- so beautifully written, yet full of so many thought-provoking and deeply true sentiments. His characters in Childe Harold's Pilgrimage and Manfred are both on a search for comfort, for relief from their past. They've lost the women they loved, and they've lost the acceptance and joy they once knew.

And his life, wow. He became popular immediately after his first piece was released, and he was the first author to embrace fame like that. He was virtually the first-ever celebrity, complete with people following him around and everything. Rumors flew about him, and this led to his separation from his wife. He even had to flee the country to escape all of the negativity. He ended up settling in Greece and got caught up in their war for independence before he died.

Fascinating.

The thing I love most about reading classics like this is seeing the timeless truths of emotions and experiences. The ideas of losing love, seeking acceptance and joy again, and lesson-filled journeys still surround us today and even make up a bulk of our thoughts, stresses, and life in general. How awesome to be able to pick up a piece written nearly 200 years ago and find words that still speak for our hearts and minds today.

I leave you today with a stanza from Childe Harold's Pilgrimage, Canto 3.

Could I embody and unbosom now

That which is most within me, -- could I wreak

My thoughts upon expression, and thus throw

Soul, heart, mind, passions, feelings, strong or weak,

All that I would have sought, and all I seek,

Bear, know, feel, and yet breathe -- into one word,

And that one word were Lightning, I would speak;

(lines 905-911)

Migraines and Articles and Ramblings: Oh My!

It was a Monday Morning Migraine to start off the new week, and I had to change around a handful of plans, but I was happy anyways because I realized these are far less frequent than they were in the fall semester. Thank God. According to this article, 20% of people in America get them, too. How miserable!

Now that it's down to a dull roar thanks to meds, an ice pack, and a looong nap, I'm pounding away at papers. I'm behind where I'd like to be in my class right now, and it's really starting to stress me out. I wish I could just hit "pause" on the world for a few days so I could catch up. I have to start sorting through stuff soon, too, so I'm not doing any more last-minute packing other than the inevitable packing of necessities the morning of.

Anyway, I think it'd be interesting to make soap sometime as a class project. One of the preschool teachers in TX made "dinosaur eggs" out of soap, actually, so I'm itching to try that. I never thought about making dish soap or laundry detergent, though, but this article makes me want to give it a shot sometime.

~"Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." [-Italian proverb]~

Real Time And Conversations

I had the gift of spending a bunch of time with 3 of the girls I adore so, so much -- my cousins Jess, Jenna, and Jordan.When I'm home, I spend as much time as possible with my family, but really I think these girls get the most. I talk about them quite a bit, and I'll probably talk about them a lot more before The Big Move, too.

Friday: shopping, errand-running, and ice-cream getting (minus Jen). [Okay, so the ice cream was a bribe for Jor, who does have a fair amount of patience (sometimes) for a 9 yr old, but even a 9 yr old can understand the value of ice cream in exchange for stretching her patience and good behavior a liiiiittle longer. And it was THE most colossal ice cream cone I'd ever seen. There were at least 4 scoops in that baby!]

(Jor and I talking about The Big Move as we shop)

Jor: Why are you moving there? Isn't it cold?

Me: What?

Jor: Yeah, aren't there mountains and snow and everything?

Me: You're thinking Uh-Laska. I'm moving to Nuh-braska. No mountains there.

Jor: Oh, yeah! (thinks for a minute) But you went to Alaska once, right?

Me: Yes, yes I did.

Saturday: sleepover with the girls at our aunt and uncle's where I was animal-sitting (Thanks, Uncle Vic and Lizard!). Picking 2 movies and getting popcorn and candy to go with it. Making it through one movie. Singing and dancing. Jess joining us. More dancing. Hunting for the rumored second cat, Lucy, with no luck. TV watching together. Dropping off to sleep, one by one. Learning just how little bedspace you get when sharing a bed with a dog, a cat, and a little girl simultaneously.

(Jen's watching TV in the other bedroom...and I can't remember what Jess said/what I said...)

Jen: I'm hungry!

Jess/Me: So get something to eat.

Jen: I can't!

Jess/Me: Why not?

Jen: Because I can't pause the TV!!

Jess/Me: We call that 'old school technology'. We couldn't pause TV when we were growing up, and we survived!

Today: slow to wake up. Watch the girls tirelessly play ball with the dog. Homework after they go home. Jess keeping me company while I cook. Baby playtime break at her house. Back to the house to hang out until Uncle Vic comes home. Head home to my own bed.

A fantastic weekend with my girls. :)

~"Cousins are different beautiful flowers in the same garden." [-Anonymous]~

"Passionate Patience"

The Bible study I'm doing right now is an examination of some of the women in Scripture, and it's been fantastic in getting me to think about what examples they are putting forth for being a woman of Christ. I'm really enjoying it.

The other day it focused on Esther. Wow, what a woman. Her uncle, who essentially adopted her, brings her to the king's palace to be in a competition of sorts with other women to win the king's favor and become the queen. This was all because he got ticked at the woman who was supposed to become the queen. Wow.

Well, here's the thing about Esther. She's a Jew. Not a big deal, right? Wrong. This is a time when the Jews had to fear for their lives.

Well, as it turns out, Esther wins the favor of the king and is set to become the queen. She goes before the king to request that he put forth an order canceling out the previous order to kill the Jews, and it all ends up being okay. But, as awesome as that is, that's not what amazed me.

What got me was that Esther was summed up in the Bible study as "passionately patient". You see, as Esther 2:12 tells us, these potential queens had to go through a whole year of beauty treatments before even seeing the king. They coated themselves with beautiful smelling oils, perfumes, and make up for 12 whole months before they found out if the king was interested or not. Wow. That's dedication for a huge unknown!

I wonder how often Esther got frustrated or worried. I mean, she hid her identity for a whole year. Her uncle told her not to reveal that she was a Jew. And how lonely did she get during those 12 months away from her family? Did she ever want to give up? I'm sure she felt a whole range of emotions, but she persevered. And it all turned out awesome in the end.

"Passionately patient" is a powerful phrase that's been resounding in my head since then. As I end up behind a slow driver, I find myself repeating it in my head. As I'm gritting my teeth and getting impatient in a conversation, that tiny voice in my head whispers that phrase. When I am stressing about moving and all that the next few months hold, it surfaces in my mind once more.

I challenge you, friends, to not only work on being "passionately patient" in your own lives, but let's work together to help each other become more "passionately patient".

~"Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience." [-Ralph Waldo Emerson]~

New and Different

[Technically I'll be double posting today, but pretend this is Wednesday's post. Or take two for one today. :)]

Sometimes you just need to mix things up.

I know, I know. You're probably thinking, "Um, wow, that was a stupid thing to do. Why on earth would she pierce her nose?"

It's something I thought about doing for a few years. Curiosity kinda got the better of me on this one. Oh, and I wasn't really excited about turning 23. I mean, what can you do at 23 that you can't do at 22? Nothing. Or decide to do something new and different.

I can always take it out and let it close up. And I'll probably put a clear spacer thing in while I'm teaching. No harm, no foul, really.

I think it'll be interesting to gauge people's reactions, too, so yes, I guess part of this is a bit of a social experiment. See, I like changing things up and seeing how people react. In high school I cut off a foot of hair on a whim, didn't even give my boyfriend of the time a heads up (he then walked completely past me in the hallway because he didn't really notice me since he was looking for the long hair -- true story!).

Well, the storm sounds like it's dying down outside. That means I can finally get to sleep. Good thing. I will be bummin' with Byron all day for class. Bring on the productivity!

~"Sometimes I see myself as a child in a rain storm, running around trying to catch all the drops in his mouth. I long for your adventures to be like the raindrops the child saves and not those which crash to the ground." [-anonymous]~

A (Birth)Day With My Mom

Sometimes the best days are ones that don't try too hard to be great...they just turn out that way naturally.

Like a whole birthday spent with the woman who gave birth to you, loving you, encouraging you always without holding the stretch marks, labor pains, and kidney it took over your head...Often. (But you know I don't mind, Mom)

Celebrating the past 23 years of life while preparing for the years ahead, analyzing the items with her endless supply of patience as I talk through the pros and cons, the dreams and hopes. I can't think of a better way to have done it today.

I love my mom. I am pretty sure she keeps her Superwoman cape hidden somewhere, but definitely not her amazingness.

Now let's see what 23 brings. I hope it brings me steps closer to being more and more like my mom -- and all of the other amazing, inspiring women in my life.

~"That's me, the perfect blend of caffeine and genetics. HA!" [Gilmore Girls]~

WeekendEnd

a grill.

lots of delicious food.

a few cold drinks.

a crazy-big, silly dog.

constantly pulling up more chairs,

widening the circle around the table.

trampoline jumping.

laughter,

laughter,

and more laughter.

long conversations.

cake.

purple frosting wishes and names.

candles blowing under the combined force of the birthday girls.

missing the birthday boys.

frosting fight!

wrapped up in the fun company and love of my family, everything's okay. my hurts and worries are pushed to the back of my mind, and i intertwine myself in these precious moments with them.

~"These are my people. This is where I came from. We're givin' this life everything we've got and then some. It ain't always pretty, but it's real. It's the way we were made, wouldn't have it any other way. These are my people." ["These Are My People" - Rodney Atkins]~

Soothing Surprises

Spent the day working on the house with Mom and Brandon. The house is getting closer to them being ready to move in, and it's great to see it pulling together.

Nothing ever looks the same when I go there between the work they've put into the house and the things that keep popping up in the yard....beautiful, colorful, surprises.

Here's the latest (and no, I don't know why they are huge pictures. Enlarged to show texture??):

We aren't sure what they are. We were just calling them Firework Flowers.

The lady who used to live here has so many flowers around the yard. A lot of them are purple, so Mom ventured that we can probably guess her favorite color.

This is one of my favorite pictures from today.

Sit really still and let it speak.

It whispers,

Please, child, slow down. Soak in the beauty in the simple things. Savor the surprises. Blessings abound. Rejoice in the good. Be okay not knowing everything.

Just what my heart needed: peace, comfort, stillness, beauty.

Hey, thanks, God. :)

~"My God's enough for me. This world has nothing I need. In this whole life I've seen my God is enough for me." ["Psalm 73 (My God's Enough" -BarlowGirl]~

Funny Video Friday

A Dedication

I'm loving this Jon McLaughlin song tonight. It reminds me of those hard in-between years of just trying to figure out who I was, trying to feel like I fit in, and all of that...and it makes me so, so thankful that it's over. It hurts my heart to see my cousins getting old enough to be in that position now. I'm so proud they are growing up and proud of who they are becoming, but I know it's a struggle sometimes...but they'll be okay. I know it. :)

Tonight this song is for my favorite girls. ♥

A Declarative Statement

Yesterday I came across an article called "Why You Should Blog, Even if No One is Reading". You can read it for yourself here. I've been thinking about it a lot since then, and something that took up that much thought is worthy of a post.

I've always loved to write. I was that kid who carried a notebook everywhere for a while, Harriet the Spy style. I'm that person who has every single journal saved. I've even been blogging since early high school, but it's always pretty much been for myself. It wasn't until The Challenge that I really and truly wanted to write things worthwhile for other people (although I still haven't quite figured that one out).

I've read other blogs where people manage to find something, anything, from their day and make it hilarious. I've seen some that are incredibly artistic, others that are thought-provoking. And I admit that I have coveted those abilities, my friends. I have stared at the little white posting box agonizing over what to write, sometimes even writing entire posts before deleting them to start from square one. I have felt that my posts are insignificant, meaningless, and a waste of time for both myself and readers.

But you know what? I have this passion for writing. And I love The Challenge for making me write even when I don't want to. I have seen how it has challenged me into being a better writer. Not only have I toyed around with the mechanics of it, but I've also opened my eyes and my mind to the world around me to soak more of it in. Good writers linger on the details around them, take it all in. After all...

"The creative person wants to be a know-it-all. He wants to know about all kinds of things: ancient history, nineteenth-century mathematics, current manufacturing techniques, flower arranging, and hog futures. Because he never knows when these ideas might come together to form a new idea. It may happen six minutes later or six months or six years down the road. But he has faith that it will happen." - Carl Ally

The things captured in this blog will be wonderful to look back on, just like all of those journals I have saved over the years. I will feel emotions again, relive memories, but I will notice the growth I've done as a person and as a writer.

And that is what this blog is about. It's not artsy or funny, political or whatever. This is me, this is my life. This is who I am. I call the shots here, and share my thoughts here, too. It's just whatever comes out on any given day. It's random, yes, but hey, that's me, too.

So thank you for following my growth with me, my friends, because I know that there are those of you who read this. I don't hold you to reading this every single day, but I appreciate it. I hope after reading today's post that you have a bit more insight into why I'm doing what I do here.

~"And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt." [-Sylvia Plath]~