"I'll Fly Away"

So today's song is one that's part of my life soundtrack. You know, those songs that will always take you back to a certain time or place in your life? Everybody has 'em, and this is one of mine.

I'm so blessed to get to have devotions with my coworkers each morning before we head off to teach. It's honestly one of the highlights of my job. Last year we used to use every Friday morning's devotion time to sing together. My coworkers are extremely musically talented, and the harmonies that we got going on sometimes (no thanks to me, might I add!!) made me want to cry or break out in goosebumps. It was awesome.

I was introduced to this song last year, and it's absolutely beautiful. No, I don't like to think about dying, but I know that heaven is going to be a place where the joy and beauty abound way more than I can even begin to imagine. I rejoice in knowing that I'll be able to jam out with my God and fellow believers someday in the most beautiful harmony. This song reminds me of what awaits us.

And I'll never be able to hear it without thinking of the beautiful harmonies on those Friday mornings when we'd jam out around a small table in the library while one of my coworkers played guitar.

This song is one of my happy places.

Life Lately

I was all excited last time I posted about this whole Music Mondays thing, thinking, "Surely I can commit to blogging once a week!"

Um, or not, apparently. Oops.

Here's what life's been like lately here:

So I don't want to sound like a whiner here, but I basically am a hermit whenever it's time for report cards. I'm a hermit to the tenth power when report cards coincide with P/T conferences. This time I also had to enter a whole quarter's worth of grades into our online system since it took me a) nearly a quarter to figure it out and b) a simple email exchange with the lovely helpdesk to get my grading scales correct on there. But I survived and things went (fairly) well despite the crunch.

After getting through that general craziness we took a road trip last weekend. It was Scout's first car ride that was longer than 10 minutes.We have now learned the difference between his potty whine and his "I've never been in the car this long and don't know what to do with myself right now and why am I clipped to this seat belt because now I can't roam where ever I want to and I don't like it" whine. Let me just say that when your long road trip begins with a solid 15 minutes of whining you questions your life choices a little. It wasn't too long before Danny taught Scout how to live it up in the backseat by cozying up and falling asleep, and Scout only did some minimal chewing on the seat belts and seat cover, so it all worked out. Squirt got the boot from the backseat, though, and rode either in my lap or on the floor by my feet...not that he minded as long as he had a blankie to snuggle into. (Pictures to come another time...)

I know there will always be people that think we're crazy for having 3 dogs and who think we are even crazier for taking all 3 on the road, but we're thankful that Scout has been relatively easy-going. We've had to do a lot of learning along the way so far and so has he, but there's nothing that affirms our choice like watching our boys get along so well together.

Tim's been busy on the house again, too. He finished up around our new door to the backyard by mudding the new drywall, painting, and adding trim. It looks awesome! Everything was cleaned up and nice again until one day I came home and two cabinet doors and drawers were missing and their contents were moved around. I couldn't complain for long, though, because Tim has been working like crazy to install our dishwasher. Our house currently has two -- Michelle and Tim -- but we thought a newer model would be nice. And guys, it's ALMOST DONE. I told him we won't know what to do with ourselves with our extra time. I may have to take up a new hobby! Or work on an old hobby again! Oh, the possibilities. :)

So on the agenda this weekend is cleaning in all the ways I've been behind for two weeks on cleaning and a few school things...along with the usual time with hubby and puppies...and it will be wonderful.

"...when others say I'll never be enough."

A while back I blogged about the fear of not being "enough", and I have to admit that I find myself falling back into that now and then. I used to think it was something that came with being a new teacher, but I've been blessed with conversations with seasoned teachers where they've admitted similar feelings. I was relieved it wasn't just me, but I still chalked it up to a teacher thing.

After I got married and being a wife was thrown into the mix, I started worrying that I wasn't being enough as a wife -- especially over the past 5 months with some time-consuming work stuff. You don't want to neglect your spouse, but you don't want to hold back from what you've been called to do in the ministry, either. I know I'm not the only one to face that, either. Whatever you are called to do each day is your ministry, and you have to juggle that with your home and family life. It's pretty easy to question where you're investing your time as dishes pile up or play time with the kids (or the pups in our case) gets shoved into pockets that are smaller than you'd like.

And the list could go on and on and on.

I started to chalk this up as an everyone thing not too long ago.

We juggle many hats, and what a joy it is to be so many things to the people around us. I love getting to listen to friends that are going through something and then hearing them say, "Well, I feel better after venting for a while." I love getting to catch up with my family on the phone or Skype. I love getting to help a coworker brainstorm some ideas to try to solve a problem. I love getting the giggles with my husband. I love making new friendships here in the place we've come to call home. But the reality is that it's easy for those little voices to sneak in and fool us into thinking we can do so much more than what we are doing with our time.

Right now, for instance, I know I should be investing time in finishing report cards and preparing for Parent-Teacher conferences -- and I may kick myself later for not getting as much done tonight on that front, but I have been stock piling words for this too.

Dear friends, I want you to know that you are enough. You are loved. You are wonderful. You were created by a loving and gracious God who can look past your imperfections. He's placed people around you to uplift and encourage you when you can't see or feel your worth. The fact is that we will feel lousy and broken sometimes, and we need people around us to reflect God's love so we can push back those voices that try to discourage us.

And the bad news is that sometimes those little voices in our heads can be voiced by other people, too. There are plenty of people out there who will try to make you feel awful about yourself. Don't let yourself listen to the voices that try to push you down and hold you back. No, don't give them any of your precious time.

You are loved. You are wonderful. You are greater than some people will ever know.

And that brings me to this song to share with you today. I cannot tell you how many times I've heard this song in the car on the way to and from school on days where I let those negative voices beat me down or how many times it's been stuck in my head during a particularly trying day, but it has become an anthem to power through the Yuck those voices try to spread in my mind and heart. I hope this helps you drown out the voices that try to make you question what you're doing. You are blessed, loved, and treasured.

Let this song wash over you and take away those awful little voices, friends, and let it inspire you to go out and love as best you can in what you do and say. And if nothing else let it get stuck in your head, too, so I'm not the only one jamming out to it these days. :)

A Touch of Nostalgia

A friend shared this article the other day called "51 Reasons Living in Chicago Ruins You For Life", and it made me smile. Now technically I have not lived in the city of Chicago, but I'm sure I get points for living in a suburb of Chicago for 2 years of college.

I almost didn't live there. I remember trying to fight my dad tooth and nail about going for a tour of the Concordia campus. By that point I'd made up my mind that I was going to go to the UW school 20 minutes away from home -- nevermind the fact that their teaching program was so-so in comparison. I even tried to talk Dad into staying home instead, and I think I even tried to talk up my "school of choice" on the way there. By the time we were done with the tour, I was hooked. (And that, my friends, is just one example of how I know God has a sense of humor.)

The first few weeks after my family moved me into the dorms were scary, though. I kept wondering what I had gotten myself into. That fear changed when I got the chance to go to the King Tut exhibit at the Field Museum not long into the year. None of my friends had signed up, so I joined a bunch of other people from school that I didn't know and indulged my inner nerd for a day. I ended up meeting up with another friend, and it was even more fun, but I started to really appreciate what Chicago had to offer after that chance to wander the museum.

Looking at those pictures in the article fills me with nostalgia as I remember other times that city was our stomping grounds whenever and however we could get there. I even remember raiding my stash of laundry quarters a few times for the El -- or how sometimes we'd share cards that we'd put extra money on in a time of prosperity and foresight when someone else was low on cash. Oh yes, it was worth it. I don't think there was ever a time we went for adventure and came home disappointed.

I'd love to gather up my trusty group of adventuring college friends and hit the streets of Chicago again. Some of us did get together a small handful of years ago when our friend Jen was coming home for Christmas; she was teaching in Honduras at the time. (Yikes, I just did the math...that was 4 years ago already!!!) We had a blast just wandering and talking...and goofing off in a part of Macy's that maybe we weren't supposed to be in but never saw a sign clearly stating we shouldn't be in...but that's another story. :)

It was hard to leave Chicago when I decided to transfer to another school knowing I was leaving those adventures behind. When I got to school in Nebraska, I welcomed the sounds of the crickets and wind again, and I relished being able to see the cows and the stars. But I got homesick for Chicago sometimes even after I came to terms with the fact that I am a better city visitor than city resident. Truthfully, I still get homesick sometimes for Chicago.

It's crazy to see some friends are back in that area again and seeing pictures of the adventures they're having and even passing down to their children now (as crazy as it is that suddenly we're adult enough for kids and such). That's heartwarming in a whole new and awesome way.

Maybe I've over-thought a list that was supposed to be entertaining, but I love being able to look back on a big leap of faith that reaped such awesome memories.

Where have you lived that's left you with some of the best adventures?