I'm one of those people that gets that reflecting on the year on New Year's Eve can get cheesy fast, but 2015 demands to be considered and remembered. I used to write on my blog a lot more often to do just that, and it became a way to connect with my family and friends as life brought me new places. I miss having this to look back on like when I blogged almost every day for a year, and I need to have a place for these things from this year. My heart and mind have been filling up with these thoughts as the holidays have been upon us, and here I'll leave them to make room for new thoughts and feelings. Perhaps someone else needs these words for their thoughts and feelings, too.
A new year begins with excitement and anticipation of what lies ahead, and I think it's safe to say that it's never what you're expecting when you daydream about the possibilities. You focus on the good things that could happen, but naturally there are always challenges that come along. A whole year brings about a lot of growth and change. You cannot walk out of one year into a new one as the same person you were 365 days ago.
If I had to pick two words to capture 2015, they would be blessed and extreme.
Our world was rocked this year by a couple of awful events, and it really brought me a new understanding of what it is to trust God completely. My dad's accident and losing my step-uncle Mark were absolutely tragic, and it was the extreme part of the year. Any of the other negative things that have happened this year truly pale in comparison.
Throughout everything I know God's love is endless, and it poured through every single day. It is nothing short of a miracle to still have my dad today. God's love poured in through the way my family and I were able to lean on each other through it all, the way all of us could be strong for each other when one of us hit the wall, the way we helped take care of each other and never let each other handle it alone, the way we'll cherish each other even more after the powerful reminder that life truly is a gift. It was there in the heartache reminding us of the strong faith Mark had that means he's living it up in heaven right now, and I can't even imagine the awesomeness surrounding him. It's in the way I want to strive to encourage others, make them smile, and be there for them like my uncle was. It's in the way we are closer as a family and strive to continue to support one another. God's love is constant.
Whether I was feeling heartbroken or I couldn't feel anything in the rough stuff I could at least be thankful to have the presence of God in my life. There was never a time I was truly alone or hopeless. The times I was in danger of falling into those feelings were the times I'd get a call or a text or have someone to talk to that would remind me of the greatness of God at work even when I couldn't see or feel it. Our God is bigger than our feelings and our circumstances. I needed to write that here as a reminder to myself but also to the world, especially with all the "yuck" we face each day. Remembering that is the key to moving through the next moment, hour, day, week, month, year...even when we think it's impossible to go on.
Romans 12 has been a chapter of the Bible I've clung to since I student taught in Texas. It was the focus of a sermon series that guided me through a confusing, intimidating, and tough transitional time in my life. I've revisited Romans 12:12 many times this year and will continue to hold close to my heart. It says, "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." If you're wondering what my New Year's Resolutions are, there you go. Because God will never fade, change, or give up on me or you, and I'm going to continue to lean into that love each day.
Here's to being thankful for having an awesome, loving God.
Here's to being thankful for the health, happiness, and togetherness of my family this year and the time we got to spend with them this year. And here's to growing closer to each other.
Here's to hopes and dreams of the good to come in 2016.
Here's to helping each other get through the "yuck" we'll face in 2016.
Here's to faith, hope, and love.
Now off to a big night of writing in birthdays, anniversaries, etc., on our new 2016 calendar with the puppies sleeping nearby on the couches and shamelessly binge-watching Gilmore Girls while I wait for my hubby to drive back from work. Stay safe and have fun, y'all!
