Easy, Tiger.

After church, I come home, make coffee, and sit for a while. My companions are my Bible, a pen, and paper. A one-on-one date with God.

A time of opening up

speaking honestly

listening intently.

Everything I wrote in yesterday's post still plagues me. I struggle to find words I needed to find, regret not deleting the post last night and writing something else instead. But it was true. It was real. And it was raw. I still feel some pieces missing, some things left unsaid. It makes me uneasy not to have the words.

But then I read this:

And the Holy Spirit helps us in our distress. For we don't even know what we should pray for, nor how we should pray. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. [Romans 8:26]

So the Holy Spirit finds that words fall short sometimes, too, huh? I'm glad I'm not the only one.

But God still hears and knows anyways because the Holy Spirit makes it work. That's just plain awesome right there.

And that's when I finally say it to myself, the phrase I so often say teasingly to others or to my car when it gets overzealous: Easy, Tiger.

Sometimes with lots of emotions comes a flood of words. And sometimes there's a drought. But it's okay. God still gets it. And really and truly, because of that, it's all good...even in those moments it doesn't feel that way.

A nudged heart, a whisper as I set my pen down:

Understanding will come in time. Be patient, and it will come. Cling to what is good, right, and true for now, and that will carry you. I will carry you. Fear not. Worry not. I love you.

~"Whether we are high above the sky, or in the deepest ocean, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord." [Romans 8:39]~

Sometimes There's No Understanding to Try to Lean On

Sometimes I just get so angry at God for breaking hearts, for letting pain happen. I always know it the back of my mind that there's a reason, and someday I'll be able to look back and see the good there

...but in the meantime, it just stinks.

He never misled us by giving us promises that everything would be a-okay in life. No, quite the opposite. He told us that being followers of the cross would be tough stuff. That doesn't make sense until we're knee deep in muck, though, and then it hits us, "Oh, this is the stuff God was talking about."

God's always in control.

He always has a plan.

Life never goes how we plan, but that's because our plans are pretty lame compared to His plans. If we had it our way,

we'd never suffer,

we'd never sob any gut-wrenching tears,

and nobody would die.

If we had it our way, we'd really mess things up.

No, God's got this.

He's always got this.

We might not understand it,

we might cry,

we might get angry,

we might doubt,

but we must "lean not on [our] own understanding." ( I don't remember the reference off the top of my head. It's somewhere in the Bible. Proverbs, I think.)

[I'm taking a hiatus from the picture challenge. I might just throw in the towel on it. It seems so insignificant, so pointless right now.]

~"When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight." [-Kahlil Gibran]~

My First House Guest

My mom is a rock star.

Every picture frame, clock, poster, mirror, and bulletin board is hung in my house.

My 50-some odd book buddies in my classroom are matched with their stuffed animals and packaged up nicely.

My grocery content has gone up this week.

And I have somebody to watch The Little Mermaid with me. Voluntarily.

Thanks, Mom. :)

Better Late Than Never

A classroom and an apartment: beyond the initial settling in stages and into the throes of getting decorated.

My spaces.

And the beauty in the form of so much love, so much help and support.

There aren't enough words for life lately...but it's all good. :)

Heartaching

Sometimes life throws reality checks your way, and there are no words that seem fair or right.

It was eerie to reminisce about CUC 2 days ago only to get a phone call yesterday that a...

[to say "friend" wouldn't be entirely truthful, but to say "acquaintance" seems like it falls short.]

floor mate and dining mate -- one of the people who lingered at the dinner table with us, whose laughter and jokes and intellect were a vital part of those memories -- died over the weekend.

I used to think I'd outgrown the idea that we're invincible but I don't really think so. I don't think it will ever stop taking me by surprise when things of this nature happen.

And it makes me ache for the times when I take the people in my life for granted.

I've been thinking about CUC and remembering so many things.

And I'm ashamed to think of time that's gone by, of putting off getting in touch with people who meant so much, taking people for granted, and letting life come between friendships that have meant so much.

My heart breaks for the friends and family of such a beautiful, intelligent, and sweet girl. My prayers and thoughts are with those of you whose heartbreak is beyond what this heart is feeling.

~"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." [Rev. 21:4]~

[Literally] Old School: Mission 3rd Krauss

First and foremost: a huge thanks for offered words of advise and encouragement lately. This girl's heart needed it. We all need that extra bit of love sometimes. And I'm grateful for those who have been willing to give it.

Day 5: A Picture Of Your Favorite Memory

I'm not a fan of having to pick one favorite anything. Ask anyone who knows me well, and they will tell you that 1) I am indecisive and 2) any question of a favorite will end in a list (oh, how I love lists) of subcategories of favorites because my favorite one day will not be my favorite the next; it changes with my mood.

To that end, then, I present you with one of my favorite memories, sub-categorized under "CUC Days". Ladies and gents, I give you a scene from one of the first few weeks of freshman year while living on ye ol' 3rd Krauss, the Mouse House. We called this the evening of Mission 3rd Krauss. I now give you the 10 steps necessary for said Mission:

Step 1: Get bored on a weekend.

Step 2: Decide to decorate the hall.

Step 3: Realize need for big sheets of paper.

Step 4: Plan how to get big sheets of paper from the community center across campus.

Step 5: Make a detailed plan on how to sneak from Point A (3rd Krauss) to Point B ( the KCC). Include strict instructions to make James Bond-esque rolls along the way.

Step 6: Dress accordingly with the "mission" mindset. (I don't think this is what Concordia had in mind when they encouraged "missions".)

Step 7: Dart across campus, roll a few times for good measure here and there, duck behind bushes, and do this all with minimal talking and giggling. Ignore any and all people who look and/or ask, "What's going on?" Just run and secure the goods.

Step 8: When goods are secured, repeat process of getting to KCC, but in reverse. And, for the sake of the preservation of the paper, with less James Bond-style rolling.

Step 9: Return to 3rd Krauss with the sweet, sweet taste of victory...and a lot of paper.

Step 10: Proceed in hanging up paper to decorate the hall. Make masking tape outlines of friends on the floor in the hallway.

Oh, that and so many other memories make that my favorite floor to have lived on in college. Remind me to tell you sometime about the time our floor was quarantined. Future post?

~"A college education should equip one to entertain three things: a friend, an idea, and oneself." [-Thomas Ehrlich]~

Another Blow to the Moses Mindset

God continues to squash my Moses mentality every day that I'm here. You know, those doubts that try to talk me out of feeling okay here, that try to make me feel like I should just pack up, move home, and stay inside my comfort zone.

Today the Moses mindset started with being nervous about going to a new church by myself. This is actually the first time I've had to do that. But I got there and saw the teacher I'm replacing along with her granddaughter, who will be in my class this year. I was greeted by two big hugs and smiles, and there went a little bit more of that Moses mindset.

Up went my excitement factor for meeting my students.

Tomorrow's another first: a meeting with a student's parent. I'm fervently praying for wisdom, words, and peace. First impressions are intimidating. And then it's onward with the classroom prep...yikes. One step at a time.

Okay, time to switch gears to that photo challenge again.

Day 4: A Picture of Your Night

~"Don't be afraid to expand yourself, to step out of your comfort zone. That's where the joy and the adventure lie." [-Herbie Hancock]~

A Slow Saturday

Homework aside for a little while, it's time for the today's challenge theme.

Day 3: The Cast of Your Favorite Show

I'm not a big TV watcher, but it's nice to have an hour or so each week to just get lost in somebody else's world for a while.

My mom and I used to watch Gilmore Girls [ Still a favorite!] and then call each other afterwards to talk about it and everything else. It was like our set date each week. After the show ended, it was a bummer not to have that special thing every week that made me feel linked to home a little.

Parenthood previews came out with Lauren Graham in them (she was in GG, too, and a tremendous actress), so we had to check it out. Turned out to be a fantastic show -- a mix of drama, comedy, and how family can drive us crazy just as well as they can hold us together. The family lives in one town and is always involved in one another's business, trying to solve problems and dealing with the fights that come with sharing blood.

First of all, how can you go wrong having a Bob Dylan song for a theme song? Aside from that, I love it because it has real struggles, from a single mom raising teenage kids who had to move back home after leaving her druggie/alcoholic husband to a family dealing with the process and aftermath of having a son diagnosed with Asperger's to parents who want what's best for their kids yet not being ready for them to grow up.

The Bravermans are just like my family: close-knit, always at each other's houses, trying to do what they can to help even when sometimes everyone would like to pretend they can do it alone, but always loving each other at the end of the day regardless of what comes their way. And the show makes me laugh and cry every single time. If my family were to star in a show, this would be it.

When I was in a poetry writing class in college, a wise professor said that when we write a love poem, the reader should fall in love with that person, too. I think of Lisa's words every time I see a movie or show or read something that truly draws me in and makes me feel what the characters are feeling. It takes a lot of talent to be able to bring feelings alive for the audience to experience with the characters. Well done, Parenthood.

Consider the video of the intro the quote for today:

True Friendship Ignores Time and Distance

I'm grateful for the photo challenge today. This week kicked my butt a little.

Day 2: You and the Person You've Been Closest to the Longest

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that this probably means beyond the family because they are kind of a given. Otherwise they'd win this, hands down: 1) Parents 2) My Pops 3) My Cousins and 4) Auntie Cindy. :)

So, branching out beyond the fam, it'd easily be these two tied for that spot.

I've known Matt (left) and Andrew (right) since I was in 8th grade. [ That picture's from Matt's wedding day. I have zero of the three of us...ever. Fail. We have to fix that at Andrew's wedding.] We've had some ups and downs along the way -- from break ups and fights to cross-country moves -- but on the rare occasions when the 3 of us can get together, it's like nothing has changed about our friendship.

Except that we're older, Matt's an old married guy now, and Andrew is soon to be an even OLDER married guy. And they have wonderful, beautiful (inside and out) women in their lives now that I also have the blessing of having in mine. [Hahaha, the amount of estrogen is now higher than testosterone. A nice change, if you ask me! :P]

But we're still silly one minute and contemplating the mysteries of life the next, and then we bounce right back to picking on one another. I know I can still call them any day and talk though anything and everything with them -- or nothing that makes any sense at all. I absolutely love 'em to death and look up to them a lot. It's a downright honor to have gotten to watch them grow up into two pretty classy guys. [Yes, even you, Andrew. :P]

I'm so thankful to have them in my life for 10 years and counting. ♥

~"The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart." [-Elisabeth Foley]~

A Mini-Challenge

A while ago people were doing a 30 day photo challenge on Facebook. It was cool to get to know people a little bit better and see their creativity coming out, so I decided to give it a shot.

Day 1: A Picture of Yourself with 10 Facts

1) Those glasses were actually my cousin Matt's. And they were once sunglasses. And this is on his graduation day. He's one of the people I look up to most in my life.

2) Next to pierogis, my all-time favorite food is cheese. Oh, how I miss Wisconsin cheese curds and their delightful squeaking.

3) I absolutely cannot eat catfish. The way they look just freaks me out. Something that ugly cannot go in my mouth. Plus they eat mud, don't they? Ew.

4) I'd love to learn how to play guitar and piano someday...not necessarily in that order.

5) I have terrible storm anxiety, and night storms are when I hate being alone the most. Don't get me wrong, it's pretty cool that God's so powerful like that, but it literally makes me sick to my stomach when the thunder is rattling the windows. I have no idea why a sound scares me so much, but it's called brontophobia. I usually get out my iPod, put on my headphones, and crank the music to drown it out. And feel like a 3 year old the whole time.

6) If I had to choose between a night in with my family or a night out with my friends, most of the time I'd pick my family. They just get me. Most of the time. We go beyond bloodship, though -- we are also friends, and I treasure that. A lot.

7) I have a knack for being able to tie movie quotes or scenes into every day situations. It's a gift. I think it's genetic.

8) I don't regret many things, but many of the things I do revolve around not speaking my mind when I should have. I'm still working on standing up for what I believe in or for myself.

9) Someday I'd like to try Zumba. Who's with me?

10) I had a quote wall in every single dorm room I lived in, and I loved it. So many things would have been forgotten without those -- they were almost like a timeline that I could use to trace the great things that happened each year. I still love collecting quotes, but now I have a quote journal.

And there you have it, 10 things about me that you didn't know 10 minutes ago but you know now.

~"Someone to tell it to is one of the fundamental needs of human beings." [-Miles Franklin]~

I Can See My Next Playlist Already

Yesterday morning upon awaking: Opened blinds. Turned on Pandora. Made coffee and breakfast while rocking out to the AC/DC station. Starting making a mental list:

Songs That Make It Impossible to Start the Day Off on a Bad Foot:

1) "Thunderstruck" by AC/DC (or anything by AC/DC)

2) "Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor

3) "Looking Out My Back Door" by Creedence Clearwater Revival (Or anything by CCR)

4) "Livin' on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi

5) "Dynamite" by Taio Cruz

6) "Authority Song" by John Mellencamp

6) "Born This Way" by Lady Gaga (Makes me think of my cousins ♥)

7) "Beat It" by Michael Jackson

8) "End of the Line" by The Traveling Wilburys

9) "Cecilia" by Simon and Garfunkel

10) "We Will Rock You" by Queen

11) "Do Wah Diddy Diddy" by Manfred Mann

12) "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey (or the Glee version, depending on the day...)

13) "Fishin' in the Dark" by the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band

14) "Send Me" by Lecrae

15) "Good Vibrations" by The Beach Boys

16) "A Hard Day's Night" by The Beatles (The Aaron and Jason Version always overrides the real words in my head!)

17) "Kerosene" by Miranda Lambert

18) "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" by The Proclaimers

19) "It's Not My Time" by 3 Doors Down

20) "Light Up the Sky" - The Afters

I'm sure there are many, many more that could be added...but I'll leave it at that for now.

What kind of music gets you going in the morning?

~"I think music in itself is healing. It's an explosive expression of humanity. It's something we are all touched by. No matter what culture we're from, everyone loves music." [-Billy Joel]~

All in a [Tues]Day's Work

19 papers left to do by August 5th for class. Doable with diligence.

A classroom full of treasures that's already starting to come together.

Plans, plans, and more plans.

The test-run of the crock pot: a major success. (Sorry, food processor. You've been demoted to 2nd favorite.)

A glass of wine while cleaning up.

The ebb and flow of a to-do list with things crossed off and more things added.

Making friends with coworkers.

Students who are excited to meet me -- and how excited I am to meet them, too.

Tea and Tennyson research to end the evening.

Another busy day slated for tomorrow.

Whew.

~"It is the simple things of life that make living worthwhile, the sweet fundamental things such as love and duty, work and rest, and living close to nature." [-Laura Ingalls]~

Kitchen Adventure: Salsa Without a Recipe

I am going to make salsa. Maybe I should look up a recipe. Nah, that's overrated. We'll just see how this goes.

Cutting board, knife, tomatoes, onion, cilantro...yup, gang's all here. Okay, let's do this.

I never know how to cut up an onion. Who's the world's worst onion cutter? Me. They always look so...mangled when I'm done with them. Wait a second, this one's not bad.

Okay, let's give this food processor a whirl. Haha, whirl...

Oh, food processor. I love you. No, seriously. Those onions are a thing of beauty. Oops, now they are almost liquified. I think I got a little overzealous there. You are my new favorite kitchen appliance. Please don't tell the microwave.

How much onion is too much onion for salsa?

Hmm, can this go in the garbage disposal? We're about to find out. The worst that can happen is it will break, right?

Um, how do I know when this disposal is done digesting this stuff? Well, it sounds slightly less malicious now, so let's just call it done.

Oh, tomatoes. You remind me of my first job where I got to cut a lot of foodstuffs up in the back. Hey, cilantro, you know what? You do, too. *lightbulb* Can you go in the food processor?

Okay, maybe the cilantro in the food processor was not such a great idea. It looks pitiful now. But my affection has not been diminished by this. Food processor, you still rock.

Mix, mix, mix. Wow, that's a lot of onion.

A dash of lemon juice. Okay, that was probably too much.

Holy onions, Batman! Um, maybe I'll just stick this back in the fridge. Coldness calms down an onion's intensity, right? Sure.

I think I'd better find the Tums. There will surely be heartburn involved in this somewhere.

This sounded like a good idea in theory...and would probably make some killer nachos.

~"It's so beautifully arranged on the plate -- you know someone's fingers have been all over it." [-Julia Child]~

Small Joys Sunday

heart-to-heart with God, why i'm angry, frustrated, worried, etc.

being reminded that it's perfectly fine to feel that way.

that what's done is done, and what will come will come, and it all will be okay.

errand-running.

grocery shopping.

going back to pick up forgotten bags.

changed plans. company tomorrow instead.

universal remote successfully programmed.

cheese, crackers, and ice cream lunch...because sometimes that's all that sounds good.

phone call with Pops.

outline writing.

phone call break. loving how anything and everything comes up so easily. honesty and laughter.

paper written. another unit down.

and a dwindling number to go.

prep for going back to the classroom tomorrow.

time's flying.

~"And as the evening fades away,/The sky is filled with stars, invisible by day." [-Morituri Salutamus by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow]

A Weekend Thankful List

a weekend of uplifting...

catch-up conversations on skype.

snippets of poetry forming in my head and leaking out of my pen.

research on jane eyre.

seeing beautiful faces of friends once more.

laughing uncontrollably.

the rocky horror picture show in its entirety &

watching it with the experts. :)

plans for the future.

but let's not forget to add a shout-out to...

a super-clean apartment

parents of all kinds (from long conversations with my dad to my "adopted mom"and her super classroom finds)

making progress in the spare room organization

home cooking

company coming tomorrow :)

and, most of all, that comforting, peaceful feeling of knowing this is right where i need to be, and it will be good.

~"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter." [e.e. cummings]~

Laughing Fits

This made me laugh almost as much as the newscasters...both times I watched it.

Michael Scott would also have a field day with this. If you watch The Office, you will soon figure out why.

Happy Friday!!!

Hard-Not-to-Notice Neighbors

In college dorm livin', I learned that living on the top floor was the best. Why, you ask? Because having neighbors who live above you can subject you to bongos being beaten on the floor (which equates to the ceiling right above your lofted bed) at 11:30 at night. Or random exercising at odd hours, too. [Causing you to make a mental note that, should you actually want to work out, do not do so in the dorm room with people living below you.] I figured you couldn't go wrong with only having neighbors below you.

It appears that theory may have some holes in it.

Downstairs Neighbor like bass music. I can tell because DN shares bass music with me. Oh, home sweet home...where everything rattles when DN shares bass.

Seriously, what does DN have?

a) An actual bass with an amp...turned up.

b) A kick-butt stereo system...turned up.

c) A kick-butt surround sound system...turned up.

d) All of the above....with their powers COMBINED.

Kudos to DN, though. Tonight it's at a low rumble, so my stuff isn't rattling. I can just feel the vibrations through my futon. [Edit: I spoke too soon. Sigh.]

I did tell my grandpa that I might just have to go down there and ask to join the party. At least then I'd make a friend in the building, too. Unless DN was insulted. Then, well, I'd just say I came from the building next door...and was summoned by the bass.

It sounds like I'm annoyed. I'm sort of amused, actually. Amusement aside, however, it is kind of distracting. And I certainly hope this doesn't keep up when the school year starts. By 10:30 on school nights, I should be in bed. I have enough troubles sleeping without DN adding bass to my insomnia...although at least then I'd have a good beat to wiggle my foot to while I'm lying wide awake. Hmm...

I guess I just thought Neighbor Noises like this would stop after the dorm days. Hello, Real World. Thanks again for reminding me of just how idealistic my thoughts about you were.

I'm not sure I necessarily agree with this quote, but it made me laugh, so here you go:

~"Outside noisy, inside empty." [~Chinese proverb]

Reconnected and Resettled

Internet and phone: check.

Wireless router connected: check.

Independence boost from connecting router alone: check.

House phone tested: check.

Books organized and put away: check (as "check" as that can be until I get another bookshelf).

Having a dining room no longer overtaken by said books: check.

Mostly unpacked: check.

Settling in: check.

First house guest visit set up: check. :)

Another class unit down: check.

Life is good: double check...and a thumbs-up for good measure.

This time tomorrow I will be posting from my computer again. Internet and phone are getting hooked up tomorrow afternoon. I am excited!

One Box at a Time

Another room completely upacked. This place is transforming into a place I could see m myself living for a while, a home. :)

Thanks, Jane

I am reading Jane Eyre, and she just left the school where she lived for years. One day she realized she wanted to see more of the world. As she is considering what she wants, she says,"I remembered that the real world was wide, and that varied field of hopes and fears, of sensations and excitements, awaited those who had v courage to ho forth in into its expanse to seek real knowledge of life amid its perils."

I hear ya.

Leaving a House that Built Me

I'm sitting on the wood floor in my room. It hasn't been echoe-y like this since my senior year of high school when we painted it. Auntie Cindy helped me pick out just the right shade of rusty red to make the Golden Gate Bridge stand out in the painting Grandpa loved, the one that will soon be hanging up in my own apartment.

This room has come a long way since I first set foot in it years ago. It was once carpeted and full of Grandma and Grandpa's stamping things, their computer, their two separate desks that were so neatly organized. It was fun to hide under Grandpa's desk. The more cousins crammed under there, the better. They had perfected a system for working on their stamps together, and I loved to peek in on them while they worked. They were such wonderful, fascinating people. And this room housed one of their passions. I loved to think about that as I lived in this room.

And now, here I sit. I've come a long way since I first set foot in this room, too. I was about 6 then. My biggest dreams then were probably to beat my brother and Beckey's team in the Cousin Bowl in the front yard. Now I'm 23 and currently my biggest dream is to survive this move, class, and 24 kindergarten kiddos this year.

This room's been good to me. In a few short hours my foot will tread across the floor one last time. After they leave this room, they'll make their way down the hallway, feeling the carpet that my feet have helped to wear down over the years. My eyes will take in this wonderful home one last time, the place that has known so much of my family's love and laughter, and I'll be on my way. Maybe someday I'll come to love a place this much again, but Grandma and Grandpa's house will always be one of the first places I think of when I think of home.

My heart breaks as I think that the next time I see this place, it will only be from the road as I drive by. There won't be any maneuvering in the angled driveway, pushing the sticky door, hearing the rattling of the metal decoration on the back of the door, and feeling the rush of familiarity. No, it'll be just an empty, lonely house. But I will smile through the tears as I see the dear old place again, and then I'll drive on over to see the beautiful faces of my family once again.

Until then, I hear a new place calling out to me. It whispers the promise of housing new memories and experiences, of watching me continue to grow. Apartment living, here I come.

My friends, I leave you with one of my favorite songs to listen to when I'm away from home in honor one of the houses that did build me.

Rediscovering Old "Friends" with New Relevance

I am constantly thankful for finding music that can speak to and for my heart, and I love it when years down the road a song can do it again. Rediscovering music that I used to listen to on repeat is like finally getting to see an old friend again after life has gotten in the way for too long.

The beautiful thing about those songs that stirred my heart before is the way they seem to appear when they fit perfectly into my life again. It's like it never even went away -- except now I'm left wondering, "Why did I ever stop listening to this??"

Okay, confession: I stopped listening to this band because I lost the CD. I suspect it got too scratched and had to get thrown away. I used to be horrendously negligent to my CDs. (If you've ever ridden with me while I've changed CDs while driving, you'd see I still have moments.)

In light of all of the broad spectrum of emotions encompassing me with this move -- the biggest being fear of the unknown, naturally -- it could get easy to get wrapped up in the negative and stay there. Part of the song "Heartbeat" by Bleach encourages me to kick that aside and charge on ahead.

And so I'll fight the current

I'll fight the undertow

Help me swim away from

Where my weakness grows

So I'm taking a deep breath, and I'm going to finish packing so I can start this new chapter. And I'll be jammin' out to this song. Feel free to jam with me.

Pausing to Enjoy It

Packing always makes me panic, moving is stressful, and I'll be glad when this is over. I am not the first person to realize that, and I am far from the last.

We are loading up tomorrow and heading out very early Saturday morning for The Good Life.

My mom and I were talking the other night. After she listened to me freak out, she said something that really took a day or two to sink in. She reminded me of how exciting of a time this is, and that it is stressful, but not to miss out on enjoying it, too. And my "adopted mom" (my best friend's mom) reminded me that this is the beginning of a great and wonderful journey.

Wow, I needed those words from both of those wonderful women.

As I've been packing, I've been rediscovering forgotten things...like autograph books from when we went to Disney World as a family, old activities and lesson plans for classes that might find their way into my classroom, music from what feels like a lifetime ago...and picturing life in the new apartment. Creating new memories. Having visitors (hint, hint, my dear family and friends!).

It's fun to remember the past, and it's fun to dream about the future.

There's no going back now!

~"Moving on is a simple thing; what it leaves behind is hard." [-Dave Mustaine]~

Beyond the Recipe

Have you ever realized that a lot of wonderful conversations happen around food? Dinner time in college was one of the greatest socializing times we had. We'd develop a routine with what time we'd all naturally gravitate to the cafeteria, and then we'd linger as long as we could after our plates were clear just to talk.

At home we move slowly away from the table after we're done eating, too, but the food is much better (of course). We have some pretty great cooks in the family, and some tried-and-true family recipes.

You know what I love more than consuming the products of these family recipes, though? Having my family teach them to me. As I learn the right way to roll the dough or the secret ingredient or how high to make the graham cracker crust (or not make it, as the case may be...lol), it's amazing what I can learn about my family. It seems like with every recipe I also hear anecdotes about my relatives. I get to know them better as I improve in the kitchen. It's a win-win situation.

That was the creation of the week. Another family recipe gained, another thing off my To Do list, and more lessons about the people I love. A huge thanks to my Auntie Cindy for that. :)

When all else fails, I will not starve in my apartment because I can always resort to making a cheesecake. You know, when I have 2 hours to spare. I hear first year teachers have all the time in the world...(yeah, right). :P

~"Part of the secret of success is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside." [Mark Twain]~

A Picture's Worth a Thousand Words and Fills the Silence for Me.

Just a few scenes from the weekend...

The Little One Got It All Right

The 4th seemed like it went by in a blur....a good blur, but a blur nonetheless.

headache.sunshine.parade.unexpected run-in.food.benaclaus visit.long naps.chihuahua cuddle time.glee.fireworks.dancing.singing.laughter.

Tonight at the park Jess, Jor, and I were walking back by the baseball fields with everyone else to watch the fireworks. I had a hot funnel cake for my aunt in one hand, and I was playing with Jor's hair with the other. She was asking me to sleep over, just like she does every time I come over. Even though my headache was better than it was in the morning, I just wanted to sleep in my own bed and told her so. She made her pouty face (that I will admit sometimes works), and I reminded her that I will not have a room here for much longer, so I will probably be sleeping over a lot more when I come home for Christmas.

Her pouty face got poutier, though, and she whined, "But that's so long from now."

I sighed. "Yes, yes it is."

I'm trying to enjoy every single bit of time left at home...because it will be a long time until I am back, and that's a tough reality no matter how many great things will come between now and then.

~"There's no telling how many miles you'll have to run while chasing a dream." [-unknown]~

Compromised Time

Today was a long day (hence the belated post...again...), so the post I had planned got tossed out the window. Oh, Robert Burns, you and your idea about "the best laid plans." You were on the nose with that one. But it was fantastic.

It's easy enough to lay things aside to soak up things I'll be missing for a while...

Driving up to Racine instead of taking a nap so I can have more time up there? Alright.

Bouncing between Racine and Spring Grove a few times in one day to see my family instead of doing homework? Sure.

Making cheesecake with my aunt according to the Secret Family Recipe and being able to cross it off ye ole To Do List rather than packing? Yes, please.

I always panic right before I'm leaving home, trying to fit in as much time as possible with my family. Maybe it's a preemptive strike against homesickness I'll feel later. Or maybe I have to make up for all of the minutes that I won't be here with them.

Dorothy had it right: There really is no place like home. And it really never gets any easier to leave.

Epic.

Dad, 1 L Shel (his girlfriend), and I went kayaking today. And you know any palindrome as fun to say as "kayak"must be awesome. Annnnnd it was. 3 hours on a creek through a state park. No cell phones, no computers no homework...just us and nature. Beautiful.

And then there was a movie date with Mom and Brandon, a quick stop to scratch Pops' back and say hi to Grandma and my brother (and MY cat).

Some wine and reading for class to conclude the evening, and the fun of the Last Weekend continues tomorrow. :)

A Forgiving Friday

a no packing day.

too nice to be trapped inside day.

few things go as planned day.

baby registry for a friend day.

drinks on the beach day.

and a great day.