This was one busy break. They just keep getting worse and worse with how cramped they are. "Break" has become merely a label, not a vacation. Nice knowin' ya, sleep-in days...
I got a LOT of time with my family in, some of the best in what probably amount to years if I really stop to think about it. It's been a while since we've been this close again. It is kind of funny and weird that my ex-uncle bought me my first Jagerbomb considering I haven't really seen the guy too often in the past 10 years. Well, stranger things have happened with my family! Much-needed and much-welcomed. It's crazy how fast my nephew is growing up, too! Today was his first birthday party...that year went way too quickly, but I didn't really know the munchkin for the first 5 months (or so) of his life.
I did get my questions answered...but I wish that were enough to cause the situation make sense. There are just new questions that have come up now. I don't like being uncertain, and I have a hard time being patient enough to let things be and see how they go (something my wise aunt told me needs to be done!). I'm grateful to have my own assurance of my friend being the good kind of person I thought he was, though.
I'm not good at communicating my fears, and I'm not good at handling them. I have a tendency to cling too hard to things I'm afraid of losing, and I often smother them. This is especially true when I'm interested in someone. I s'pose that's a good test, though, if you think about it -- the ones who can put up with my nuttiness are worth having a relationship with...? Well, it's something to think about. :-P The point is, the more I think something --well, someone -- is worth it, the harder I will try not to lose it. I hope that the person I am writing this for is a) even giving this stinkin' blog a glance...and b) understanding some of my actions a little more...they aren't meant to be a deterrant, just as a way of letting you get to know me more and see that I'm thinking about ya.
Tomorrow's the big trek back to school. These next 2 1/2 weeks will be so challenging, but I am looking forward to surprising myself by finding out just how capable I am of rising to meet that challenge.
I will be taking a prolonged coma when I get back home, though, so don't be concerned when you find that I've gone into hibernation for a few days in mid-December to make up for the sleep I didn't get over Break and will NOT be finding over the next few weeks...
Anyways, I'm leaving you with the lyrics to a whole song..."Use Somebody" by Kings of Leon...because it's been on the radio every time I've been in my car this weekend so far, and because it's just so damn ironic because it fits my mentality right now.
I've been roaming around, I was looking down at all I see
Painted faces fill the places I can't reach
You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you and all you know and how you speak
Countless lovers under cover of the street
You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you
Off in the night while you live it up I'm off to sleep
Waging wars to shake the poet and the beat
I hope it's gonna make you notice
I hope it's gonna make you notice
Someone like me, someone like me
Someone like me, somebody
I'm ready now, I'm ready now
I'm ready now, I'm ready now
I'm ready now, I'm ready now
I'm ready now
Someone like you, somebody
Someone like you, somebody
Someone like you, somebody
I've been roaming around, I was looking down at all I see
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