Bring it on.

My head's a million different directions right now, and what do I do when I need to slow myself down? Write away...

I haven't been too terribly homesick this semester because I've been to busy to be. The only real spell of it was when my grandpa had some stuff going on with his heart, and I just wanted to be there with my Papa even though it was going to be fine. I'm pretty overprotective of the guy since he's my last living grandpa, but hey, I learned the protectiveness from him. The homesickness is really going to be a big deal this week though because it's always worse right before I go home because I'm starting to think about what I'm going to do while I'm there, and I come to realize just how much I miss about home.

As weird as it sounds, I'm excited to be feeling this way. I haven't been on great terms with my mother (hence moving in with my dad at the end of summer...) for most of the semester, but we're starting to repair our relationship. Before this, I wasn't looking forward to going home really because, as much as I miss a lot of my family, I didn't want to deal with the drama of not wanting to go see my mom and stuff. We're good now, though, so that takes a huge damper off of the week.

I am also highly anxious for this break because I have a lot of questions that I need to have answered by someone there. Some things that have happened since we've known each other and some of the conversations we've had have really left me with more questions and unknowns than I'm comfortable with. I tried getting some things sorted out before I left, but I chickened out and got too caught up in having fun since it was the last time we'd be seeing each other for a while. Immediately upon getting home from hanging out, I was frustrated with myself for not getting the answers I set out to get that night. This is it, though. It's not going to happen again. It can't. It literally is to the point where it's keeping me up at night, and I'm done with that. I'm not going to let it stay that way. Time to take a stand.

This upcoming week before going home, however, is about kicking butt and taking names on some big projects that are due before I leave and catching up in one of my classes.

~"Sad thing is you can still love someone and be wrong for them." [Elvis Presley]~