The Ideas, They Keep On Comin' Like Thunder

Have you ever had an idea that you just can't shake? And the more you try to ignore it, the more you seem like you can't concentrate on anything else? (Believe it or not, this is not classroom-related.)

Somebody put an idea in my head. I laughed it off at the time, but now -- WHOOSH -- there goes the floodgate. It swept away my concentration, too.

Fine, idea. I will cave to you for a little while, but then it's back to school stuff. You will just have to wait your turn.

I just looked out the window to see this:

And I am amazed, in love with the way nature reflects what I'm feeling.

Clouds obstructing the clarity of view (unsure these thoughts will pan out)

Small rumbles of thunder (excited, full of possibility despite uncertainty)

Beautiful swirls of color (the potential itself)

Sunlight streaming on the other end of the sky (hope)

Beautiful.

~"You began the work and I know You'll finish it." [- "Invasion" by Tripp Lee and featuring Jai]~

Uplifted

A friend whose company for the weekend brought

laughter...lots and lots of it

encouragement and

motivation

an extra set of hands

wonderful ideas

mind-clearing

heart-to-heart conversations

boatloads of patience

relaxation

A church service with

words my mind needed in

hymns and

a sermon about Peter sinking

fixing eyes on Jesus

peace

the Lord's Supper

smiles and handshakes

a surprise hug

hints of the beginning of belonging

comfort

laughter

A grocery store run-in

smiles, greetings

a familiar face

still new but refreshed memories of names

kind words and hospitality

helpful hints

excitement for the year

An evening of

ice cream for dinner

productivity

locker tags

good music up loud

knowing tomorrow will be okay

looking forward to the fellowship with coworkers

being reassured it will all get done.

~"Practice rather than preach. Make of your life an affirmation, defined by your ideals, not the negation of others. Dare to the level of your capability then go beyond to a higher level." [-Alexander Haig]~

SlowDown

Breathing.

Napping.

Movie watching.

Reading.

Those are all things that have been on the back burner for a bit with everything else going on. Okay, well, not really breathing because I'm still here, but the kind of relaxing breathing that comes with having breathing room for a change.

I'll be in my classroom pretty much every day between now and school starting so I figured I might as well take some time to relax and putter around the apartment. My apartment's now clean from top to bottom, and that feels good, too.

I haven't said anything about DN for a while. In case the suspense has been getting to you, I'll fill you in. Things haven't been as loud as they were the first week or two so maybe DN realized somebody moved in upstairs. I can still hear whatever it is going late at night sometimes, but hey, if nothing's rattling in my apartment, that's okay.

Still have some things to catch up around the apartment -- and emails to send back to people -- but they'll get done soon.

What a nice feeling to not have anything that absolutely has to get done tonight. It's been a while.

~"I heard Jesus, he drank wine, and I heard we'd get along just fine. He could calm the storm and heal the blind, and I bet he'd understand a heart like mine." [-"Heart Like Mine" by Miranda Lambert]~

Seven Pages to Victory

Class deadline is tomorrow at noon. Four papers got done so far today, and four more stand between me and the end. That's 7 pages -- 8 if you include the Works Cited page, but who counts that anyway? Aside from the prof, of course.

As much as I've learned, I will not be sad to be less attached to my computer. I will not cry about having no more papers to write until grad school.

SoClose to being able to breathe a sigh of relief as, for the first time this summer, homework doesn't loom over my head.

Until then, I'm plunging back into the homework abyss.

~"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else." [-Judy Garland]~

(J-Edge, that quote also has me thinking of you and the beginning of your Big Move tomorrow! ♥)

An Evening of Flying Solo

My favorite Alaskans + my favorite Nebraskan + IHOP in Lincoln = a great time being reunited with the Seward fam.

Our plans had changed around a bit tonight, leaving me with a bigger window of time by myself in Lincoln. I had gotten there early -- yes, you read that right, not just on time, but EARLY!!! -- and now had a few hours to kill. With no agenda.

*gulp* Uh oh.

Usually when I find myself out and about alone, I think of the people I've been meaning to call and still get my socializing in (unless I'm grocery shopping, but that's a story for another time). And I rush to get done as quickly as possible.

Tonight I put the phone away. I did my errands. When I was done, I walked around the mall. I got something to eat and wandered around some more. Then I headed to b&n -- my Happy Place -- and wandered through the children's section and then to the journals. I needed a new journal, anyways, and happily came across one. I sat in the cafe writing, listening to the snippets of conversations around me mingled with the sounds of the baristas at work.

I caved to the cell phone only when people called me.

This isn't so bad. In fact, I could get used to this.

It was a relief of a realization, too, because I've also recently done some thinking that landed me into the conclusion that I honestly will not be dating any time in the near future. [That's another post in and of itself, perhaps]. The point is that it's necessary to be comfortable like this. It's not good to be alone, but it's also not good to never be alone. Even Jesus spent time in solitude.

~"It is good to be solitary, for solitude is difficult; that something is difficult must be a reason the more for us to do it." [-Rainer Maria Rilke]~

Summer's Slowly Fading

s l o w l y

things really are getting done.

another parent met, this time with a student (that makes 4 kiddos that I've met so far - love them already).

a door decorated.

a job chart labeled and hung up.

letters, letters, and more letters getting cut out.

a "star of the week" bag created.

more decoration plans made.

...and yet I still feel like I've barely gotten anything done.

So much to do, so little time.

Next week begins the "official" meetings. The week after is when school starts.

where did my summer go?

~"Summer is the time when one sheds one's tensions with one's clothes, and the right kind of day is jeweled in balm for the battered spirit. A few of those days and you can become drunk with the belief that all's right with the world." [-Ada Louise Huxtable]~

A Long Phone Conversation Brings...

Amazement at what a combination of being comfortable and being honest can bring out in a conversation.

Time disappears for a while, stops dictating where I am or what I'm doing.

Refreshing, uplifting, energizing words.

A reassured heart and mind.

Faded worries -- I wonder what I was worrying about before we talked.

A great feeling to not have them.

Wonderings. "What ifs."

Laughter.

Teasing.

Truths.

Admiration.

Thankfulness

for such a wonderful friend, one who

understands yet challenges me,

picks on me and supports me simultaneously somehow,

makes me laugh at my own insecurities and look past them,

dreams with me and lets my imagination run wild,

laughs at my terrible [attempts] at jokes,

faces truths rather than running from them,

answers my questions without hesitation,

leaves my cheeks aching from laughing and smiling.

~"You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breath...oh, you make me smile." ["Smile" - Uncle Kracker]~