Timeless advice.

I'm reading Jane Austen's Emma right now (another one on my list of classics to read), and once again, Jane Austen's words of wisdom are something to take to heart.

"I lay it down as a general rule, Harriet, that if a woman doubts as to whether she should accept a man or not, she certainly ought to refuse him. If she can hesitate as to 'Yes,' she ought to say 'No' directly. It is not a state to be safely entered into with doubtful feelings, with half a heart."

This is taken from Emma giving advice to a younger woman after the woman receives a letter with a proposal in it.

So the bottom line is that you really do have to listen to your whole heart. Don't let other's expectations sway you from what your instincts say.

Hmmm.

The butterflies don't strike me like they used to. They aren't completely gone yet, but maybe they will be one day. I just can't decide if this is good or not. I don't know how I feel about it yet. It's the first time in over a year that they haven't been present.

~"I'm not trying to shut you out. I just don't understand it enough to let you in yet." [-One Tree Hill]~

New poem...

Façade

By Michelle 6/1/08

These bracelets annoy me as much as he does,
Sitting across from me,
Lying with the words he does not say,
Looking at me like I have not changed
And will fall again for his game.

But those months without him were my cure
As I sat alone,
Opening my eyes to the nothingness he has to offer,
Observing how he wanted all control
And willing to give him none.

I am no longer weak enough to fall again
And pine on my knees,
Chasing after his temporary presence,
Choosing the emptiness over loneliness
And willing there to be more.

I am smart enough to take control
And run the game,
Lending my presence but not myself,
Leaning away from the illusions he leads
And the will to settle.

I deserve more.

Dedicated to someone who has no clue that this is about him, and who never will.

A new decade begins.

So 20 came in with a bit of a bang. Lots of storms. We even had some rotating clouds above my house on Saturday. Happy birthday to me, hey? I found out my high school has had some terrible flooding. This slide show depicts what's going on in that part of town.

All of the pictures of what is going on not just in my area, but the entire state, and even the entire Midwest are just awesome in a simultaneously saddening manner. I just saw footage of Lake Delton in the Dells sweeping away lake homes and essentially disappearing...Wow. Can't help but marvel at the power of God.

Despite the weather, I was glad to have a better weekend than I anticipated. I just was not excited about turning 20. I didn't really know how I felt, actually.Two of my friend basically lived at my house this weekend though, and we had a kick-ass bonfire one night, and just did a LOT of talking the entire weekend. That in addition to a lot of time with my family (both sides) was the perfect way to usher in a new decade of my life.

~"Well, who's to blame? Are we making the right choices?" ["Brave" - Idina Menzel]~

Playlist.

Songs I can't stop listening to:

"Realize" - Colbie Caillet
"Brave" - Idina Menzel
"Elephant Love Medley" - Moulin Rouge soundtrack
"Don't Stop The Music" - Rihanna
"See You Again" - Miley Cyrus
"Let It Be" - The Beatles
"Did You Get My Message?" - Jason Mraz
"Picture To Burn" - Taylor Swift
"I'm Only Me When I'm With You" - Taylor Swift
"Anytime" - Eve 6
"The Great Escape" - Boys Like Girls
"The Time Of My Life" - David Cook
"Summertime" - Kenny Chesney
"Used To" - Daughtry
"Over You" - Daughtry

Summer plans.

I got a job. I will be working at Dinner By Design. Seeing as how this was in my top two choices, I'm geeked.

I'm even more excited because it's right next door to a pretty nice gym with a cheap monthly rate, so I can go from work to the gym. Did I mention both places are about 45 seconds from my house (and that's WITH heavy traffic)? I really am going to work hard to stay motivated to go...which will be a bit of a struggle sometimes because I really don't like going by myself. Buuut seeing as how my independent woman factor has steadily been on the rise in the last year, I see no reason for it to cease now.

I leave you with my mantra for the summer.

~"Do one thing that scares you every day." [-Eleanor Roosevelt]~

Summer has begun.

Summer's off to a decent start. I went out to NE again to kick it off, and it was a good trip. I got to spend another night on campus, and I feel even more ready than ever to be out there. I got to see Iron Man in all of its amazingness, too. There was a lot of reading time during the trip, so I was a happy camper. Good company never hurts, either.

Now I've moved on to the next phase of summer: get a job.

Places I've Applied:
- Marble Slab (Coldstone's competition)
- Milaeger's (a greenhouse/giftwares kinda deal)
- Borzynski's (like Milaeger's)
- Barnes and Noble
- Kohl's Department Store (Do they even have the grocery stores anymore?)
- Home Depot
- Steve and Barry's
- T.J. Maxx
- Express Personnel Services (except it has a different name now...)
- Chuck E. Cheese (As a cashier, not a character. The costumes would be too big, haaa.)
- Panera
- Bed Bath and Beyond

I'm also applying at Dinner By Design, which I think would be a fun job. I'm keeping my fingers crossed especially for that one and Steve and Barry's, and of course b&n, but it didn't sound like b&n really is hiring right now. The last two on the list already told me they can't hire me since I just want a summer job, but that's okay. We'll see what happens.

I also drove on the interstate by myself today, so I feel like I could conquer the world right now. Oh, and the coffee helps encourage that feeling, too. =o)

~"There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." [Nelson Mandela]~