"Outgoing Guts"

"And by the way, everything in life is writable if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt." - Sylvia Plath

Confession: I fell into the self-doubt trap. 

I have been on a long hiatus from writing in general. I've written in my personal journal, but that's it. Sure, at first part of it was a change in the amount of free time I had as I juggled wedding planning, teaching, and working on the house. If I'm honest, though, it was bigger than that. 

I got sick of how blogging changed some of the relationships in my life. I wrote a little about what was going on in my life, but life was bigger than words in a post or two. I'm not the kind that spills every detail or feeling to everyone I meet. 

It made me so sad and frustrated when I would talk about something with someone and get a response that they'd already read about it on my blog. That was like the end of the conversation. The salt in the wound was perhaps that some of the ones I heard that from were people I heard less often from anyways. I would think, "Um, okay, but I brought it up with YOU to get your input...and because there is more to it than what I wanted to put out for everyone's eyes. But you don't want to hear about it, so that's cool."

There is a difference between knowing a person's blog and a person.

I ended up running out of steam. I just let myself stay frustrated for silly reasons, really, and then just didn't care for a while. I started missing it, though, and began pulling up the blog to post again.

The blank posts were intimidating. Anything I started seemed insignificant in light of all life's recent changes, but I didn't feel like posting about things many people already knew about...so what to write about?? It was easier to say nothing and close the browser than try something out. 

But I haven't stopped missing it. I still don't have as much free time as I used to, but we can always find time for things we are passionate about. I'm done letting self-doubt stop me from writing. It's time to find my "outgoing guts" and get back to it.

To those of you who blog, have you ever noticed your blog having any effects on your relationships?