"In the Trenches"

So way back (ha! feels that way, at least!) in the years of undergrad, I had a prof that referred to teaching as being "in the trenches." And it was kinda funny...you know, the first time he mentioned it. But he just kept on referring to it that way for the remaining 2 years of school, and it kind of lost its charm.

But then a strange thing happened. Other Ed profs were using the same metaphor.

There begin to be a buzz amongst us Ed majors. "Could there be some sort of hidden message here?" "Is it really as tough as they're making it out to be?" "Don't they know any other analogies?"

I'm not gonna lie: it made us a little uneasy, but we shrugged it off.

But you know what? I'm starting to learn that they may have been on to something after all.

That whole "teacher bladder" thing? Not a joke. Some days we're lucky if we can dash down to the bathroom even during recess. That makes for some really impressive holding abilities, my friends -- much to the dismay of anyone who has to passenger while I'm driving on road trips.

And I used to dream about how much more sleep I'd get once I was out of college and in the "real world" with a regular sleep schedule. Now I just laugh because, yup, those are still just dreams. Day dreams at that. I still don't get nearly enough sleep as I should. I will admit, though, that I do get more sleep than I used to thanks to my 21 kiddos.

I gave up acting in college. I thought I was no good at it. The funny thing is that it's what a bulk of my day consists of now. I get to do voices when I read books, pretend I'm not irritated but rather have ALL the patience in the world, and always portray that all is right in the world. And yes, sometimes I have to try to convince my kids that the "have to" things aren't boring at all.

Perhaps the biggest thing I've learned is that the war really is with your own body. There's the bathroom thing I mentioned earlier, yes, but it goes beyond that. Days when your head hurts, you pop some meds and pretend it doesn't. When you're tired and want to stay in bed, you get up, drink some extra cups of coffee, and get to it. And when you feel like you just might throw up, guess what? If you haven't thrown up, you get up and go to work anyway. This isn't one of those jobs where you just call in "just because" -- no, you go even when you physically don't feel like it. You convince yourself you're okay, and convince yourself to just make it one more hour until lunch, two more until the end of the day, one more until the lesson plans are done...

I'm not saying this to make it sound like one of those "we are teachers, we are unsung heroes" rants. No, there's a time and a place for that. I'm revealing this because this is something that really clicked with me today, and I want to be able to read back through my blog when this whole first year is over and see that I've realized what a huge undertaking this can be sometimes. Because yes, sometimes it really does feel like I am "in the trenches."

Those professors were on to something.

~"A good teacher is like a candle -- it consumes itself to light the way for others." [-Mustafa Kemal Ataturk]~