Did you know that "antebellum" means "existing before war"? It's typically used to refer to the Civil War. My antebellum has been over for a while. I've been trapped in a war of emotions and rational thinking, of truths versus wishful thinking.
I'm done worrying about things beyond my control. "What if's" turn into the enemy after a while as they begin to fuel the fire of energy wasted on envisioning what could be rather than what is. Doing that tears you away from enjoying the things that are right in front of you...like the wonderful friendships that could be if you just let them.
I'm focusing on friendships. Those have always been what have gotten me through the tough times, and those have been what have challenged me to think the most lately to make better decisions. Those have been some of the biggest sources of joy and meaning in my life lately.
I treasure the times with friends that I know are going to resurface as stories told and retold throughout the years to come. I am in the prime time for developing those as we speak, and I'm going to enjoy it.
This song is one that I came across tonight on a CD I got from a friend, and it's just a testament to some of frustrations stemming from being too optimistic for my own good sometimes. Things work out in the end, but it's not easy to get to be okay with the outcomes or the process.
"Love This Pain" by Lady Antebellum
She's no good for me
I know that she's a wild flower
She's got a restlessness
A beautifulness, a thing about her
But here I am again calling her back
Letting her drive me crazy
It's like I love this pain a little too much
Love my heart all busted up
Something 'bout her, we just don't work
But I can't walk away
It's like I love this pain
It's just an on again
And off again situation
It's just striking a match
A tank of gas combination
But here I am again lighting it up
Knowing that she'll just burn me
It's like I love this pain a little too much
Love my heart all busted up
Something 'bout her, we just don't work
But I can't walk away
It's like I love this pain
It's like I love this life
When nothing's right, yeah something's wrong
It's like I'm just not me
If I can't be a sad, sad song
It's like I love this pain a little too much
Love my heart all busted up
Something 'bout her, we just don't work
But I can't walk away
It's like I love this pain
Oh yeah, it's like I love this pain
I can't walk away, oh no
It's like I love this pain
I'm done worrying about things beyond my control. "What if's" turn into the enemy after a while as they begin to fuel the fire of energy wasted on envisioning what could be rather than what is. Doing that tears you away from enjoying the things that are right in front of you...like the wonderful friendships that could be if you just let them.
I'm focusing on friendships. Those have always been what have gotten me through the tough times, and those have been what have challenged me to think the most lately to make better decisions. Those have been some of the biggest sources of joy and meaning in my life lately.
I treasure the times with friends that I know are going to resurface as stories told and retold throughout the years to come. I am in the prime time for developing those as we speak, and I'm going to enjoy it.
This song is one that I came across tonight on a CD I got from a friend, and it's just a testament to some of frustrations stemming from being too optimistic for my own good sometimes. Things work out in the end, but it's not easy to get to be okay with the outcomes or the process.
"Love This Pain" by Lady Antebellum
She's no good for me
I know that she's a wild flower
She's got a restlessness
A beautifulness, a thing about her
But here I am again calling her back
Letting her drive me crazy
It's like I love this pain a little too much
Love my heart all busted up
Something 'bout her, we just don't work
But I can't walk away
It's like I love this pain
It's just an on again
And off again situation
It's just striking a match
A tank of gas combination
But here I am again lighting it up
Knowing that she'll just burn me
It's like I love this pain a little too much
Love my heart all busted up
Something 'bout her, we just don't work
But I can't walk away
It's like I love this pain
It's like I love this life
When nothing's right, yeah something's wrong
It's like I'm just not me
If I can't be a sad, sad song
It's like I love this pain a little too much
Love my heart all busted up
Something 'bout her, we just don't work
But I can't walk away
It's like I love this pain
Oh yeah, it's like I love this pain
I can't walk away, oh no
It's like I love this pain
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