Future unknown...

So the other day at lunch a friend pointed out that I could be engaged by now if I hadn't ended a relationship...you know when you have a bruise on your shin that's finally starting to heal, and then you run into the coffee table again and have to deal with it all over again? Yeah, it's kinda like that. And then today I went to a dress shop to try on a bridesmaid dress for my dear friends' wedding in June (they didn't have it in yet though, phooey), and since it was really busy I got a lot of time to look around at all of the dresses. There were two girls around my age in there trying on dresses and talking about bridesmaid dresses with their friends.

I'm not exactly disappointed with the fact that I'm not at that point yet because I certainly haven't found that person who could put up with me for our whole lives yet, but it still to some degree feels like I've somehow struck out a lot here. Maybe it's the fact that it's a reminder of my less than stellar luck in the fairly recent past, or maybe it's that now someday when I do get engaged I won't be able to be that near to my friends to take random trips to go and try on dresses or whatever when we have free time during the weekends...I don't even know how far away from my friends I'll be when that happens. Maybe it's feeling like a bit of a failure for not following the typical Concordia girl timeline of being engaged by the time I leave. Maybe it's the unknown of it all...not knowing the who or the when...or at this point it feels like the if (I know, that's probably not true, but it still can feel that way. You know what I mean). It's part of this whole reality check goin' on about just how close the end of this phase of our lives is getting and how terrifying that is...part of the anxieties that someday I'll look back on and laugh at myself for.

I'm always astounded when song lyrics fit my life, but this one is the first one in a while that really genuinely left me speechless afterwards because it said it ALL..."Haven't Met You Yet" by Michael Buble is what I'll leave ya with for today's quote.

I'm not surprised,
Not everything lasts,
I've broken my heart so many times I stopped keeping track.
Talk myself in,
I talk myself out,
I get all worked up,
Then I let myself down,

I tried so very hard not to lose it;
I came up with a million excuses,
I thought I thought of every possibility,

[Chorus]
And I know some day that it’ll all turn out,
You'll make me work so we can work to work it out,
And I promise you, kid, that I give so much more than I get,
I just haven't met you yet.

I might have to wait,
I’ll never give up,
I guess it's half timin', and the other half's luck,
Wherever you are,
Whenever it's right,
You'll come outta nowhere and into my life.

And I know that we can be so amazin',
And baby your love is gonna change me,
And now I can see every possibility

[Chorus]

They say all’s fair
in love and war
But I won’t need to fight it,
we'll get it right and
we'll be united

[Chorus 2]
And I know that we can be so amazin',
And bein' in your life is gonna change me,
And now I can see every single possibility.

[Chorus x3]