Wow, 2 months since my last post. I've been spending significantly less time on the computer though, and that's been wonderful. I've been challenging myself to read a lot more in the stead of going online and doing pointless things like checking Facebook for the gajillionth time...one day I just really thought about it, and I was like, "Wow, it's pointless to be looking at all of these pictures from people I never even talk to or just checking out bumper stickers." I still get sucked in from time to time, but it's getting easier to just focus on getting done what needs to get done on there and signing off. I've been getting a lot more reading in as well, something I've been aching to do for quite a while. There are a lot of books to be read out there. Bring 'em on.
This summer has had some times where it's been great so far (hanging out with my family is what it's all about), but it feels like it's mostly been a slew of disappointments one after another. I've been home for almost a month now, but it's been kind of crazy. Less than 48 hours after getting home, I jumped into an intense Physics class (4 credits in 4 wks...doable, but yes, challenging!) that took up 3.5 hours of CLASS time 4 days a week and at least 2 more hours everyday of homework. Money's been an issue for...well....when isn't it an issue? I've been relying on the fact that having my job back this summer would be a huge help on that front, but I've barely been getting hours, so yeah. I haven't even gotten one paycheck yet (we have to have x amount of hours before they cut us a check), so that's not a good thing. I have another summer class that is 10 hours of class time and 50 hours of a project, and I've gotten the class end outta the way, but the project needs to get done soon. Unfortunately, I just found out a few days ago that the project I was going to do has fallen through because the program I was working with isn't happening, either. There wasn't enough enrollment (it was a summer reading program for kids). Kinda stinks because I don't really know what's going to happen yet with that. I'm hoping I can either find something else or get an incomplete and do something in Seward when I get back. We'll see.
It's also been extremely difficult trying to maintain a long-distance relationship. I knew it would be hard, but I really had not clue just how trying it would be. I used to believe I would be a terrible person to be involved in something long distance, and I had the mentality that I wouldn't ever do it, that somebody would have to be pretty freaking amazing for me to even consider it. Well, here he is...and he is worth it. I'm not handling it very well though, but I'm hoping that with the class being done and my stress level being slightly down that I'll be more patient with the situation and less tense during the time we DO get to talk because up to this point, I've been what I perceive must be pretty difficult to deal with because even though I know that communication is one of the keys to making this work, I've been pretty reluctant to do that.
I think part of the stress is not really feeling as though I have the support of people at home. There's some, but not a lot. I feel as though very few people are taking the time to understand what this guy means to me. Is he different than who they would have expected me to end up with? Yes. But am I happy? Yes. Sometimes it'd be nice to have them take the time to try to understand that and ask questions or something before jumping to conclusions and sticking with opinions that are way off and even (occasionally) rude. It doesn't make me look forward to bringing him around to meet them, and that's disappointing. You shouldn't dread introducing somebody you love to the family you love. I'm hoping that I'm way off on that one. We'll know in 8 days though when he gets here.
And hey, I have changed over the year that I've been away. I think sometimes that change and growth factor is easy to forget about when people are away...we expect them to be the same person when they get back. How often does that happen? And, if it does happen, does that mean they didn't allow the situation to shape them somehow? Does that defeat the purpose of the experience? Hmmm...the opens up a whole new realm of questions, doesn't it?
I have been enjoying establishing a work out routine, though, and pairing that with eating healthier. I have had the tendency in the past to eat pretty badly when I've been home...sometimes not eating 3 meals a day, sometimes eating waaaay too much crap food, etc....basically everything that you shouldn't do! I feel good about it now though. Let me tell ya, that Wii Fit is a pretty good time....but so is going on the elliptical machine or doing some workouts with weights. I'm hoping to be able to keep up with this routine when I get back to school...last year I wasn't too successful with that for too long though, so we'll see.
Does that leave any questions about what's been going on with me lately? Haha...I'm pretty good at making these few and far between, but I make 'em count when I do pop up again!
~"I run my life or is it runnin' me, I run too fast or too slow it seems..." ["I Run To You" by Lady Antebellum...amazing voices in that group...]~
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