The Bittersweet Taste of Irony

My friends and I used to complain so much about our hometown. Even now we joke about all of the ways it's terrible...like our lovely Lake Michigan water with beaches that occasionally close for E. coli. But deep down we can't deny that there's at least some appreciation for it.

The difference is that being away from it has put it in a new light which shows all the ways that spending time in a place shapes us. "Home" has long-since come to embrace people rather than a physical place, and the same is very true of Racine.

For all the years that I said I couldn't wait to get out, I never would have expected to be sad when it actually happened.

The day has officially arrived, my friends, where I can no longer call myself a Wisconsin resident.

I know what you're thinking. "Ummm, Michelle? Didn't you move months ago?"

True. But it's also true that I have slacker tendencies and just got my license changed.

It was weirdly saddening to see them draw the big black X on my Wisconsin license. That little plastic square still gave me a sense of Wisconsin pride when I flashed it every time I got carded...until they asked about being a Packer fan, of course. (Gag!) I won't miss that. At all.

They gave me a nice paper Nebraska one to use until I got my new license. [Btw, classy is definitely pulling out a paper license to buy a bottle of wine at the grocery store. ] It was still a little surreal.

Until today, that is. There is was: the white envelope from the state of Nebraska. My new Nebraska license.

The official doors slamming shut on the old and opening up to the new.

Thd Good Life has really become My Life.

I'll always be a Wisconsin girl at heart, but now I'm a licensed Nebraskan.

~"The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are." [-Unknown]~

Small Doses

I don't know about you, but sometimes I am a lot more talk that I am action...especially when it comes to new things.

A few weeks ago I was talking to a colleague about some of the sightseeing I haven't done yet around Nebraska. Believe it or not, there are actually a lot more things to see out here than corn and cows. Since some of you will refuse to believe me without proof, here are a few things we've got goin' for us out here.

- The Homestead National Monument

- Chimney Rock

- The Willa Cather Museum

- A lot of awesome state parks

- The Kool-Aid Museum (Yeah, that's right, it was invented here. Booyah.)

All of those things (and others) are on my list of future endeavors. You know, those "someday" things.

But when is "someday" going to be here? Obviously it hasn't really hit anytime in the past 4 months that I've been here.

Slowly I'm gaining my footing. I'm getting more adventurous. I'm challenging myself to rise beyond the "someday" to make it happen. Let's face it: sometimes it just won't happen if we aren't deliberate. Just look at how many cleaning or organizing projects get blown off until a "rainy day." How many rainy days do you spend doing plenty of other things instead? Yeah, me too.

It's just takes baby steps, just like in What About Bob?

A Place That Holds Me

Once upon a time there were two girls who were 3 months apart in age and inseparable when they were in the same state every other weekend. When they weren't playing football with the boys, these girls could be found riding bikes. Their top 3 destinations included Mandinos for cheese fries, Vans for random office supplies, gum, or Jones soda, and -- more often than not -- the park. They loved to sit by the creek under the bridge.

In movies it'd be the kind of bridge and creek that would be tucked away in the woods and would take some work to get to. In this park it was out in the open and just a quick ride over the gravel parking lot.

This creek held hours of heart-to-heart conversations on the rocks with feet dangling in the water and notebooks nearby. There were just words and listening and laughter and love. It's here that we solved each other's problems, shed some tears, and swung from the bridge to skim the water on hot days. It's where we'd flee the torture of our older brothers and the noise of our younger cousins, and we'd feel independent. It's here where our friendship really gained a lot of its footing.

The enchantment of this spot still lingers to this day, hitting me all over again when I pause here for a few minutes whenever I'm home. It's the place I long for when I need to "get away from it all" to clear my head -- a quiet and forgotten corner of the world.

~"How hard it is to escape from places. However carefully one goes they hold you -- you leave little bits of yourself fluttering on the fences -- like rags and shreds of your very life." [-Katherine Mansfield]~

The Magic of Black and White

This video is definitely a current favorite...

Close your eyes and focus on Adele's voice in this song, and you become lost in the talent that lies there as well as the passion pouring out in her words.

And the lyrics are so emotionally raw. It's heart-wrenching because of the love one person still feels for this other person who has already moved on. What person who has experienced breaking up with somebody they deeply care about has not worried about being in this same situation?

The black and white video amazes me more and more every time I watch it. I think using black and white in cinematography or photography has a magical touch to it where it drowns out the distractions and really draws attention to the person's face. It amplifies the emotions there, be they hidden or etched into the person's face.

And that's why I love taking black and white photographs. Or taking color photographs and turning them into black and white. There's also a magic in warmified black and white, but that still doesn't measure up to the power of the classic b&w combo.

~"A photograph is a secret about a secret. The more it tells you the less you know." [-Diane Arbus]~

Sometimes The Best Things Take Us By Surprise

Today was one of the best kinds of days.

You know:

the kind that starts after you were awake most of the night before because you were dreading its arrival,

comes after a yesterday that kicked your butt and make you fear what this day could bring,

surprises you with not only being good but by being downright wonderful.

I felt like I could take on the world after the school day was done. Instead I just tackled making some plans to change up the room even more. There were even sketches involved. It was intense.

A word wall and a new bulletin board are coming to a kindergarten room near you soon.*

[*Both "near" and "soon" are relative terms..."near" being anywhere between 10 minutes and 10 hours away, and "soon" being anything within the next 2 wks. Just sayin'.]

~"Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine." [-Anthony J. D'Angelo]~

Not Sold in Stores

This song has been stuck in my head today. Actually, this song gets stuck in my head a lot. If my life had a soundtrack available on iTunes and wherever fine music is sold, this song would definitely be on it. [Still hashing out what that title track would be.]

I picked the Across the Universe version because they did such a great job with it. But I digress.

Sometimes I think I'd explode without being able to talk through things with the people around me. I've been so blessed to have people who listen and let me bounce ideas off of them before going the extra mile by graciously sharing their wisdom with me. I've been especially thankful for that in this time of trying to gain my footing while getting my feet wet in so many different things for the first time. And if you know me, you know how coordinated I happen to not be. It's tricky, but it definitely could be worse!

To those of you around me who uplift me in so many different ways -- from kind words to listening ears to reminding me that my world is bigger than a classroom -- thank you. :)

Oh, and no worries --I'll keep you posted on the release date of that soundtrack.

The Unavoidable, Unexpected Parts of Life

What happens when you open your mind to embrace the unexpected things that come in life?

Extraordinary things.

Beautiful things.

Intriguing things.

And yes, sometimes hard things.

Because reality has a soft, gentle side that's glorious

and a sharp side that's wounding.

The wonderful things remind us to have hope and dreams, to love and adore freely.

And the sharp things remind us to have courage and faith, to grow and be strengthened.

But it's all there, all wrapped into our days.

I'm good at getting frustrated about unexpected things, but then I am forced to ask myself...

If I always got to choose what I wanted instead of have the unexpected happen, where would I be right now?

I know for sure I wouldn't be where I am right this second. I'm sure I'd be okay, but wow, I'd sure be missing out on a lot of great things.

There's a song called "Awful, Beautiful Life" by Darryl Worley that I just love, but the part that catches me is in the last verse:

I laid in bed that night and thought about the day

And how my life is like a roller coaster ride,

The ups and downs and crazy turns along the way,

It'll throw you off if you don't hold on tight.

You can't really smile until you've shed some tears.

I could die today or I might live on for years.

I love this crazy, tragic,

Sometimes almost magic,

Awful, beautiful life.

I think Darryl gets me.