But this call process stuff is...overwhelming, actually I didn't realize how much so until the past few days when the stress caught up with me.
It's hard to say for certain where that line is between what's God's will and what's merely wants. I know that when it's right, it's right, but it's almost too easy to jump the gun in light of really just wanting a job. Yes, I want it to be the place where I need to be, where God needs me to be, but I am concerned about letting my emotions get too much in the way.
And fear is another legitimate battle. I am constantly reminding myself that fear is a trap, and it's a paralyzing poison really. If I gave in to fear every time instead of shoving it aside and ignoring it sometimes, there'd be a large number of awesome things I would have missed out on. But I have to wonder where the line is between fear and rationality. That's another place where it feels like the line is blurred a while.
Yet I know this is one of those times where faith really shows what it's made of. My God's big enough to hear my whining and complaining, my "I can'ts" and "I wants", and He's patient enough to take my hand while I'm blinded by my own plans and led me through the course He's laid out for me. And when I slow down, I can savor it's awe-striking wonder and beauty.
~"The darkness hides the true size of fears and lies and regrets. The truth is they are more shadow than reality, so they seem bigger in the dark. When the light shines into the places they live inside you, you start to see them for what they are." [The Shack by William P. Young]~
3 comments:
So. With. You.
Yep.
You've got some discerning to do, which is always full of doubts and uncertainties.
I would say - don't be afraid of the "I wants," though. Wants don't always automatically equal evil.
Praying for you for patience until it all becomes clear. :)
You know what's awesome? Christ has already justified everything we do because of his sacrifice. We don't have to make excuses or reason our way out of or into our decisions. We answer to Christ, and He's made everything we do right. No matter where you end up, you'll be used. There's no fear there, because Christ is already there, waiting for you. Take that comfort into your days and weeks ahead. :)
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